We are still Beating

Ch. 9

TOBIAS:

I sit in the hospital chair holding Tris's hand. The doctors are running around frantically yelling things I don't understand back and forth. They had injected her with numbing medicine and have been poking around in her back getting bullets, stitching and trying to get blood back in her. My arm still feels a little strange after giving them some of my blood since apparently we have the same type. Zeke, Cara, and Amar did too, because of how much they need. They said she seems to be responding well, but they are surprised she is still asleep. I hope Christina was right, that she's not going anywhere but home. I decide to get up and see the others. I walk out and Christina and Zeke are sitting in the hallway waiting for me. Christina gives me a questioning look.

"They said she's doing well but they are still just sticking needles around in her," I answer. I shove my hands in my pocket and sit with them. Zeke claps me on the back. "She's gonna be all right, man," he says. His voice is low and sad, probably about Uriah getting hurt and trying to comfort me. I still think he's mad that I didn't watch out for his brother, but I can tell he's trying to let it go- as much as he can.

"Yah," is all I can say but it comes out a lot weaker than I want it to. Tris still isn't waking up and the doctors all give me pitied looks. I just don't know. Christina puts her hand on my shoulder and says "Is it okay if I go take your place?" pointing to the room. I nod. She gives me some sort of endearing pat and walks away, leaving me and Zeke in a stony silence.

"Hey um," Zeke stops to clear his throat, " I, I know you never ment for Uriah to... to" he stumbles. "...to get hurt and it wasn't your fault. So, what I'm trying to say is... Ummm," he scratches the back of his neck. "...I want to go back to how it was before between us."

I nod, "Yah."

"Can we just hug it out already?" He says, with a small smile.

I nod and wrap my arms around him, thumping his back, him thumping mine. Then I realize I'm shaking. I shake uncontrollably. I guess I just realized how hard it has been baring what happened to Tris on myself. Zeke realizes and holds me tighter.

"Man, if anyone can handle it, it's your girl. She's dauntless through and through," he says.

"Yah," I whisper. It is all I can say. I'm speechless.

"I'm going to go with the others. I'm still trying to learn all about what is happening here, outside the fence," says Zeke. He smiles, "get me if something happens. Oh, and if I were you, you may want to get some sleep." And with that he leaves me by myself with my own thoughts. But I'm too tired from staying up all night, not sleeping in over 24 hours. Lots of people have stopped by, even Caleb a little. But he left quick when his eyes started to get cloudy. They all told me to leave but I didn't. The last time I slept, was in the lounge next to Tris... I decide to take in the chair I'm sitting on in with Christina. I fold it and walk in.

"Hey," I whisper, "how is she?" The tears in Christina's eyes worry me a little.

"Um, well, still asleep but they finished all the surgery, she got some blood flowing through her and they said she just needs to wake up. They aren't really sure why she hasn't," Christina says, choking on the words."They said they will only keep her on life support for 48 hours from the time of the surgery and then, and then," she coughs, "if she can't support herself by then, she's... She's..." Christina looks up at me. I nod, to tell her I understand so she doesn't have to finish. "What are we going to do? She starts to cry and I set my chair down next to her. My head is spinning. I can't take it. I want, I want so badly to let everything out, to shake and scream at Tris until she wakes up but I know Christina needs my help right now, no matter how many knots take up my chest. I don't exactly no how to comfort her, I'm not a very friendly person but I have to try. I take Tris's other hand and swing my arm over Christina's shoulder.

" Hey, don't worry, don't you remember how super humanly stubborn our Tris is? She won't give up the fight. She's not going anywhere, remember? She's staying here, with us," I say. My voice is quiet and it sounds like I'm on the verge of tears, which I am, but it still helps Christina.

"Yah," she whispers. "Yah."

"I'll grab us some breakfast and come back," I say.

"Ok," Christina replies, her eyes still glued on Tris.

I walk out and when I'm in the hall, I let myself go. Just a little. I yell. I kick the wall and pound my fist into it. Hot tears stream down my face. Why won't she wake up? Why won't she open her eyes, and run into my arms? Pressing her lips to mine. Her warmth, her hands running up my back, over my tattoos. My hands running through her golden, blonde hair. I want that back. I need that back.

I collect myself and walk back to the dorms. They are empty. I realize I'm still wearing the clothes from yesterday, stained with Tris's blood. I change quickly and grab two muffins and leave; when I turn back. I grab a third one. For Tris. Because she will want one. She will need one.

She will.

-page break;)------------

I walk back and give one to Christina. She looks at the extra, up at me, and then finally back at Tris. She takes it and puts it by Tris's head and rips a piece out of hers. I look at Tris. This stops now.

"Christina, help me out here," I say, putting down my muffin. Tris conquers fears head first, and so we need to, too. "You hold her head and set up the pillows. I'll support her and we'll prop her to sit upright." I don't really know how that will help but I remember when she was attacked that night by the chasm how she wanted to sit up as soon as she woke up. Christina doesn't argue, but I'm not sure she understands why we will do it. I slip my arms under her and turn her in my arms so she is face up again. Christina, who was holding her head from snapping back, arranges the pillows to support her back, neck and head.

"Four," she says, "You sit down first, keep her in your lap so she doesn't put too much pressure on her back."

"Ok," I say. I am actually a lot happier with this because then I feel like I'm helping her. I fumble with all the tubes to keep them untangled. I sit down, one leg straight and one bent, so she will be sitting on my ankle. Then Christina helps me lower her onto me, we put a pillow on her side where she got shot but the rest is comforted by me. She has her head against my chest, her cheek right against my heart. Christina sits on the side, holding her hand, running her fingers on the back of it. I run my hand through her short, blonde hair. I kiss the top of her head, then rest my chin on it. I whisper against her hair, "I love you, Tris. Come on. Come back."

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Comments:

Which do you ship more:

Sheo or Shansel???