We are still Beating

Ch. 12

TRIS:

Tobias comes back into the room and takes a seat next to me. He lets me lean against him and I'm thankful to not have to support my own weight. My back and side blaze with pain, my arm and shoulder just a dull, continuous ache. I lace my fingers with his. He is quiet, breathing heavy with his heartbeat thumping under my head. I focus on the movement of his chest and shoulders as he inhales and exhales while matching my breathing; and the steady movement of his hand on my left side, brushing up and down.It's easier than focusing on the pain or what I will have to deal with outside this hospital room. The doctor finally comes and has Tobias move, to examine my strength and healing but once he is gone, so is the feeling of safety he brings and the support. My body feels to heavy for itself. The doctor has me lay down to examine my bullet wounds. I feel Tobias's fingers holding the small of my back, my other wound as I lower myself. My muscles are stiff and feel like they will rip at every movement like a pulled rubber band. I feel my side start to ache and my fingers are shaking from the stress and soreness my body is holding. Tobias must realize because he fits my small hand that is dangling off the bed in between his two. They are so firm and strong but comforting at the same time. I try to focus on the feeling of them as the doctor tries to navigate through uninjured parts of me, like a soldier stepping over buried land mines. That soldier would have never made it far. When the doctor reaches to unbutton my hospital gown, he grabs more than just the fabric. His fingers dig into the place I was shot in the back. I let out a blood curdling scream. The edges of my vision are black and fuzzy. Every vein, every muscle, every part of me is overtaken by the pain. It seers and makes my muscles and body cringe and contort into unnatural positions. I squeeze Tobias's hands so hard my knuckles go white, but he is squeezing mine just as hard. I can tell he is on his feet and I hear his deep thundering voice yell something but what, I don't understand. All I know is pain. Then everything starts to subside and finally I hear Tobias.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DOCTOR! You are supposed to help your patience not dig your fingers into their injuries! God! Ever here of being gentle? God, Tris all you alright?" He yells at the doctor and then drops next to me. His voice was stern but I never realized he was on the verge of tears until I look at him. His cheeks are blotchy. He runs his hand through my hair, cradling my head as I take in big deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. I look up at him and I feel hot tears drop down my face. He presses his forehead to mine and just stays there for a while. Then he gives me a gentle kiss and looks back at the doctor.

"From now on, I will be the one touching near where she was shot," he says. Surprisingly, the doctor just agrees.

Tobias moves his fingers to center of my spine, right below where the bullet was. He finds the button and with his long, nimble fingers unclips it without laying his hand against my back once. He ever so lightly pulls the fabric back, making me shiver

since my back is almost completely exposed. I feel him lean back into his chair and he finds my hand again but this time he sits on the edge of his seat, no longer relaxed. He holds our joined hands up to his face to hold his head and I feel his warm breaths on my skin. He moves my hand and kisses the back of it. I move my hand so I'm holding the side of his face. He lets himself lean against me slightly; closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. It's crazy how much pain I cause him with my pain. He seems to suffer just as much. The doctor keeps on checking out the stitches and my blood pressure and all the important information. Finally he says the words I've been dying to here.

"Beatrice, you are still not completely healed but as long as you take care of yourself properly, allowing yourself to rest and your body recooperate, and taking the medication; you will be fine and may return home. But you must promise to do those things," he says. I open my mouth to respond.

"Don't worry, she will be. I'll make sure she is well taken care of," Tobias says. I had no doubt that he would care for me like when I hurt my shoulder or when he found me at the Chasm, but I know it will be hard for me to keep still and rest. Only something in Tobias's voice tells me he will be making sure I do.

"Ok," the doctor says. He turns towards me. "You're a very lucky and special girl, Beatrice. For someone to have never left your bedside once and be so deeply invested in your well being, you are very fortunate." He smiles to Tobias and me.

"I know," I say. It comes out soft and rough. I look up and meet Tobias's eyes. His dark, blue eyes that swallow me whole. They now have tears swimming in them.

"I'll go get your things," the doctor says and turns fast on his heals out of the room.

All I can do is cry. I'm so overwhelmed with everything that has happened and everything to come, I can't take it. I sob. I cry so hard my eyes and lungs burn.

"Hey," Tobias starts; his voice quiet and comforting. "Hey you're ok. We're going home. We're going home." He pulls me into his arms and holds me so tight I have trouble breathing but I don't care. I put my head into his shoulder and he runs one hand over my hair and the other around my waist, keeping me against him. I lift my head just enough to meet his eyes.

"The doctor is right," I start. "I'm so lucky to have you. You stayed by me through it all. You always followed me into dumb, risky situations just to make sure I'm safe. And you always are my safety. My comfort. I love you Tobias, and I'm so happy you are mine." I choke on the last words but as soon as they leave me, he fits his mouth to mine. I press back hard, my hands clinging to his shirt to keep him near me. He has one hand on the back of my head, holding me in place and the other is under the small of my back, pushing me into him. I focus on him. How he takes away my pain. How he puts me before himself. Values my life more than his. His love overflows and makes my heart swell. I know I will always love him. He will always love me. We will always be one. It will always be us.

__________________________

Thanks again for the views!

>>>>>ONLY UPDATING AFTER 5 VOTES and/or COMMENTS<<<<<

~~~~~WILL GIVE SHOUTOUT TO THOSE 5~~~~~

😘 You know what to do:)