The Six Guns

Chapter Forty-Five: Sense of Duty

  The team leaves China and arrives in Balphor. They then make the rest of their journey back to Seeira to relax. After arriving, Alex asked Siran "When are you going to teach us how to use reactive endo? We'll definitely need to expand what we know if we're going to keep pressing forward against The Ly'Lum".
  "You guys... don't know how to use reactive endo?" Ruby asks.
  "Nope" Rose says.
  "How have we ever had troubles with you misfits?" Ruby asks.
  "Aren't you one of us misfits though?" Finn asks.
  "That depends" Ruby says, "I've seen how you work and I'm not sure if I've figured out what your motives are".
  "And you want an explanation?" Siran asks.
  "I don't see why I should help without understanding why we're doing this" Ruby replies.
  "The motives and the goal aren't the same here" Siran says. "Our motives begin with simple, unhealthy things like revenge. Our goal however, is to inspire others to rise into action and fight back when the world is against them. To let people know that when life is shitty, that you don't have to take it while lying down... in a figure of speech, of course".
  "So you're motivated by personal vendettas..." Ruby asks, "but your goal isn't your personal lives? I don't think I've ever heard of someone taking such a selfish concept and turning it into a reason to fight for other people before. I'm not sure I'm convinced".
  "Why not?" Siran asks. "I haven't lied to any of you this whole time".
  "Does not telling the entire truth count as lying?" Alex asks. "Because that's most of what you've done up until recently".
  "Yeah, that exactly" Ruby adds, "your vendetta is Naris, but you've only mentioned your goal was for 'other people', yet you're clearly motivated to move against him. What's your story on that?".
  "Of course, if Naris is ever involved in anything" Siran says, "then it's my personal business to take care of".
  "You mean, he's your responsibility since you released him on the world?" Ruby asks.
  "No" Siran says, "it may be my responsibility, but that's not why. It's just something I have to do. Like I said, it's a personal vendetta. It's my problem to face and I'll face it alone".
  After a few seconds of thinking, Zia tugged on Siran's jacket and said "Syr...".
  "What?" Siran asks.
  "I know what you're thinking" Zia says, "because I feel the same thing towards The Ly'Lum... you're still bearing the weight of those who died before you, aren't you?".
  "Hm?" Ruby says as she raises one hand to her chin. "This is getting interesting".
  "Whether Naris is your responsibility or not" Zia says, "you're personal vendetta isn't taking down Naris because you accidentally let him loose on the world or because he nearly wiped the planet of life. It's because he betrayed you and killed the only people you knew, and when that was all done, he turned the world against you, am I wrong?". Siran was silent for a while. His straight face trying to hold together, but barely exposing his own sadness that revealed his answer clearly. "You want all those years back, don't you?" Zia asks. "Those years you spent alone, as you slowly lost your sense of self".
  "Ooh" Ruby says, sounding impressed, "she hit a little too close to home".
  "... She's right" Siran says. "I want my time back, and I want my time on this planet to have been finished long ago. I never wanted to be immortal".
  "Immortal?" Ruby asks, "Then you can't die, even if we tried?".
  "No, I can die" Siran says, "I'm exempt from the dying of time. Immortal and invincible are completely different things".
  "And your time you spent alone, drove you insane enough to worry about other people, even when some of us wanted to kill you previously?" Ruby asks.
  "He's lost his sense of self" Zia says, "the only thing he had to hold onto was a friend. Lily Mahina, who started the Mahina clan. Who later on died in front of him. Can you blame him?".
  "You've read too much into all of this, I think" Alex says.
  "Reading too much into things is kind of what I'm good at" Zia says.
  "But there's got to be a better reasoning for Siran wanting to do what he does" Alex says. "Isn't that right, Siran?".
  Siran was silent, and he could not answer without losing his composure. "I'm sorry if saying it outright made you feel bad, Syr" Zia says.
  "No" Siran says, "it needed to be said. I just couldn't do it".
  "Just remember" Zia says, "if you need someone to talk to about your problems, I'm here".
  Siran wipes his face with his sleeve and says "That's my line" with a smile on his face.
  "Wow, they seem close" Ruby says. "Are they like... that?".
  "Who knows?" Alex asks. "Who cares?".
  "So why go through all the trouble to trying to inspire everyone to stand up for themselves?" Ruby asks. "Not everyone has the strength to stand up against the rest of the world. You're just lucky that you do have that strength".
  "Not at all" Siran says, "not everyone can stand up against the world, but it's not because they're weak. They're just scared is all".
  "I can't take you seriously when you cry" Ruby says. "Seriously, it's unsightly. I've never imagined you crying".
  "You learn something new everyday" Finn says.
  "That's rich coming from an idiot" Alex says.
  "You wanna fight?" Finn asks.