The Things She's Seen (An Alternate Story-Line)

Chapter 36

Third person pov

"So you can see ghosts."

"Y-Yes."

"And you're being escorted by Hidan of the Akatsuki while you try to achieve world peace."

"C-Correct."

"Right... and you somehow got Kumo to agree to a treaty so long as you bring the Fourth Hokage to apologize and race the Raikage." 

"Th-That's right."

"Huh."

The Third Hokage was stumped, to say the least. Standing before him was a rather short girl, her hair vibrant shades of the rainbow, plus some. The side of her head was buzzed down, which he supposed made her look a little less... puny. He didn't know how else to put it! She was this innocent, sweet little teenager who looked like she still thought Santa Claus was real. Honestly, he wasn't sure what to think.

"I'd love to ally with Kumo, so long as they apologize for the Hyuga Clan incident. I would also like to meet with A, to discuss the terms of our treaty." The Third smiled. This girl, even he could tell, was incapable of lying. Well, he was sure she still could, but he doubted it would be all that convincing. She seemed like the type to melt into a puddle of guilt.

"This is so fucking cool, Minato." Fugaku shook the man by his shoulders. "There's a cute child, her hair is gay, and she's going to bring about world peace. The Skittles movement is in action, Minato!" He slapped his hands onto his cheeks.

"The what now?" The deceased Fourth Hokage, who had indeed agreed to apologize and race A, raised an eyebrow.

"Skittles. Taste the rainbow. Her hair is a rainbow." Fugaku raised an eyebrow back, gesturing to Hollow, who blinked up at them questionably. "Jesus-fucking-Christ, Minato. Get with the program. Honestly, how you keep up with me, I can't tell." He sighed and shook his head in an exasperated sort of way. "It doesn't matter. Pack your bags; we're goin' to Paris!"

"What the hell are you on about now?" Shisui sighed.

"I've always wanted to say that. Leave me alone." Fugaku scoffed. "And yes, I know, we don't have bags to pack. We're dead. No need to ruin my fun. I've already taken care of it." He rolled his eyes. "Hey, we should bring Sasuke."

"No we shouldn't." Minato and Shisui both said at the same time. Hollow's gaze flickered back to the Hokage.

"So... can we leave and shit, or are your guys gonna jump our asses on the way out?" Hidan raised an eyebrow. Meatball Kyle seemed to think it was a valid question because he didn't speak, instead opting to keep himself hidden. Maybe as a trump card. When in doubt, or when you're about to be stabbed in the throat, deploy your talking hamster as a last resort. Full proof. 

"I'd jump that ass." Fugaku muttered, earning a slap over the head from Shisui. "Homophobia! A hate crime! Someone call the police!"

"You are the police." Minato reminded quietly.

"Oh, yeah." Fugaku realized. His expression shifted, and he dove for Shisui, aiming to tackle him to the ground. "I will not stAND-"

"Yes, you're free to go." The Hokage said. "So long as you can prove you can really see ghosts, dear."

Hollow nodded. That was understandable. From what she gathered, nobody but her could really see dead people. Well, based on the reactions she got, she had deduced that it at least wasn't a common ability. Considering the leader of a criminal organization, which was made up of some rather pleasant people in her opinion, had been astonished by her ability, and hadn't believed her at first.

"Very well, dear." Biwako sighed, cracking her knuckles. "Tap me into the ring."

"You know, when she died, she suddenly started making all these wrestling references, and I'm really not sure why." Hashirama noted. He was another ghost Hollow had met upon entering the Hokage tower. Him and his brother, Tobirama, who was the Second Hokage. Impressively enough, Hashirama had actually been on fire when Hollow walked in. What was possibly even more astonishing was Tobirama's ability to hold a ghostly bucket of water.

Hollow pressed her hand to the side of Biwako's leg, and that's all it took.

~

Izumo and Kotetsu weren't sure what to do.

A little girl with mutli-colored hair and a ghetto hamster had walked in with an S-rank criminal, and now they were leaving with the dead Fourth Hokage and a the deceased, and oddly talkative, head of the Uchiha clan. They all chatted together idly as they passed, not paying much mind to the gaping gate guards.

"Hey, wait up, you guys!" A voice called. They turned to see the First Hokage running after the small group. "I've always wanted to be a cheerleader!"

"I don't need cheerleaders, guys." Minato assured sheepishly, averting his gaze to Hollow, who shrugged. Shisui was still in ghostly form, but only because he didn't want Hidan to pummel him into the ground. The Jashinist would no doubt interrogate him about all the shit he'd heard over the years if he got the chance. After Shisui had vanished the last time, he'd remembered, and cursed himself out for not thinking of it sooner.

"Then why the hell am I coming?" Fugaku looked offended. "Oh, yeah. This piece of fucking art."

"H-Hi." Hollow stuttered up at him. He hoisted her up with a coo, happily twirling around with her in his arms before skipping ahead. Hidan groaned loudly, not bothering to hide his discomfort as Fugaku cheerfully fell into step next to him, leaving Minato and Hashirama to bicker over cheer leading and things of the like.

"I didn't tell my wife I was leaving." Fugaku sighed happily. "I think she's cheating on me."

"And why the fuck do I care?" Hidan scoffed.

"Because, that means I'm single." Fugaku winked at the horrified look on the Jashinist's face, and even Hollow had to smile a little, her cheeks warming blue. Her stress faded to a small buzz, and she felt that maybe, just maybe, things would work out.