Darkness in the Neon Lights (H2OVanoss)

Chapter 44

"You don't need to go in if you don't want to you know," Ze tells me with concern laced in his words.

"Actually, he does," Brock says. "We've been telling Panda that Evan has been sick this whole time. It's been a week now. Any longer, Panda is going to make us take him to the hospital."

"It's fine," I sigh before I pick up my keys from the counter. "I want to go back."

"Why though," Ze asks. "You know you don't need to if you still don-"

"I said it's fine," I yell at him, causing him to flinch. I take a deep breath and look away from everyone. "I just... I don't want to stay here anymore... I want to forget about Jon for just one day... I'm hoping work will help me forget about everything for just a few hours."

Ze sighs and pats my shoulder. "Alright, just... Just let me know if you need some time alone. I'll keep one of the VIP rooms open for you."

"Thanks," I say, keeping my head down.

It's now been exactly a week since Jon broke up with me, and I've honestly never been more of a mess than I have been now. I haven't been willing to eat; Brock, Ze, and Lui have literally forced me to eat after the third day. I haven't been willing to sleep; I only sleep when my body forces me to or when the guys make me take sleeping pills. The pain in my chest still hasn't gone away... Ze said it will eventually... I don't know if I believe him anymore.

Anyways, after Brock and Ze grab their things, they walk with me out into the courtyard, where we meet up with Lui. The three of them then talk around me while we all walk into the parking lot. I can tell that they are all worried about me, but none of them want to say it... Just say something already.

When we get to our cars, I quickly get into my car, fixing the mirrors and the seat to where I need them, and then I start driving to the club. As I drive, I try to keep my mind busy with music or going over a checklist in my head about what I need to do the second I get to work, but it always drifts off to Jon... Why is it so hard to keep him off of my mind...

Once I get to the club, I don't even wait for anyone else. I just walk in, change into the uniform, and get straight to work. However, even though I had gotten to work before Brock, Ze, and Lui, I couldn't help but notice them running around me so much as I set up the bar. It wasn't until I had finished and looked at the time that I realized why they were moving so fast. The time was moving faster than me... An hour had passed, and I only did one of the many things I normally did.

This starts to frustrate me. I shouldn't be slow. I shouldn't be thinking about Jon this much! I shouldn't be crying so much! I shouldn't have to be fed! What the fuck is wrong with me?!

"Okay everyone," I hear Panda yell out from the stage. Holding back my tears, I walk around the bar and line up with everyone else. The same shit as always happens, and then we are released. However, I'm stopped when I hear Panda asking me to go back to his office. I could only guess why he wants to see me, so the bullshit of the flu jumps to mind.

Taking a deep breath, I walk over to the door the dancers use and walk into the hall, up the stairs, and into his office. When I walk in, he is just walking over to his bar. He looks over his shoulder and says, "You definitely don't look like yourself. That bug must have kicked the shit out of you."

I sigh and look down to my feet. "Yeah... It was the flu."

"Really now? I didn't know that the flu could talk."

I raise an eyebrow and look up to him, seeing him pouring himself a glass of whiskey. "What do you mean, sir?"

"What I mean," he says as he puts the bottle down. "Is that I leave only five minutes after you boys are supposed to leave. However, as I went to double check that the door was locked, I heard Steven screaming in the back. Then, when I went to lock up the back door, I couldn't help but notice everyone still in the parking lot, and I hear some punk screaming at you about lying to him." My eyes widen and I feel a lump form in my throat. "Sit down on the couch," he then orders me.