IQ148 // namjoon ✔️

__MAY__

NamJoon breaks his stare when he hears the sound of footsteps outside the window above their heads. They both peer over the windowsill to see a man lingering along the street outside the bookstore.

He's constantly switching between looking at his phone and scanning the street for a familiar face. He occasionally glances at his wristwatch for the time in between. Namjoon can see the glint of his wedding ring from afar. The man doesn't put any effort into concealing his disdain.

JungMi thinks to herself as she leaves a story together, “He's in love with someone. Whoever he's married to, no doubt. But he's worried, because they arranged to meet here, but his significant other hasn't shown up yet. He's overly worried about her.”

NamJoon imagines the backstory to be truth behind the reality, and they eerily align. However, JungMi is the one to second guess herself, “Unless…”

NamJoon's eyes widen in curiosity, “Unless what?”

Her eyebrows stitch together, indicating that she's reevaluating, “Unless… The person he's in love with isn't his wife, but a mistress… It would explain why he's so anxious to be meeting in public---”

They both watch at the sidelines in horror as the man discreetly slips off his wedding ring and shoves it in his pocket just before a woman greets him with an embrace.

“I'm assuming it's the later scenario.” JungMi clicks her tongue in disappointment at the man's actions.

NamJoon and JungMi both retract their stares from the window, giving the man privacy with his mistress. It isn't their story to read into.

As they sit back against the wall, their shoulders touch again.

“And then that guy,” JungMi points at the bookstore clerk running errands around the store, “He hates his job. He questions everyday how he ended up working at a bookstore.”

NamJoon gives her a shocked expression, “He hates books?”

“He despises them.”

“Blasphemy!”

JungMi giggles and lightly knocks his shoulder with her own, “Not everyone lands the job they want.”

NamJoon cranes his neck to look at her, his cheek pressing against the wall, “You seem to know a lot about people.”

“You can learn a lot about someone by just watching them from afar.” JungMi reveals.

She stares out the window longingly, watching all the faces that pass by, “Sometimes I just see someone… Just a random stranger that I don't know, but I wonder if I know them as much as I know myself. Maybe even know them better than they know themself.”

“Is that even possible?” He asks.

She shrugs nonchalantly before ranting, “Theoretically. People can really only know what's going on in their own head, but can't see what they are doing with their body. People don't know what they look like in those moments when they are genuinely happy or completely upset.” She nods to herself as she chooses her next words, “So by observing, you technically already know more about them than they know about themselves.”

NamJoon mulls over her reasoning and why it sounds so familiar, “...Demian?”

“Huh?” JungMi cranes her neck away from the window and flips her attention to him.

NamJoon licks his lips in anticipation, “You got that from Demian. It’s Max Demian's prowess at getting to know people better than they know themselves and influence how they act.”

He catches her hiding a smile underneath the curtain of her hair, “I guess you really did read that book three times… I didn’t think you would have caught that.”

“It's one of the major motifs in the story. Psychology.” NamJoon recalls.

JungMi nods in understanding before glancing out the window again. She rests her chin on the window sill as she watches the people pass by on the street, “I wonder if this person lives a similar life to mine. Maybe we went through the same struggles. Maybe we went through different processes of life but came to the same results.

NamJoon shakes his head, not understanding, “You could have watched people anywhere. Why the bookstore?”

She looks around her at the bookshelves that tower over them.

Without the books, The shelves would have made him feel cramped. But the books fill up the void and transform it into an escape. With the addition of books, the shelves are no longer meant to trap people between them, but rather to offer security. The tight space that they both sit in would have been a cage without the books.

“There's something… nostalgic about the bookstore,” JungMi lingers on her thoughts, “I don't know how to describe it in my own words…”

NamJoon thinks he already understands, but she's having trouble articulating it into words.

JungMi nibbles on her bottom lip, "There's this quote I remember that I relate to. I think it's from 'I Capture The Castle' by Dodie Smith. It was translated from English, so I'm not sure if there's something lost in translation, but it makes sense to me all the same..."

She recites it from memory, without second guessing herself; she knows the phrase by heart, "It says something along the lines of... ‘I am a restlessness inside a stillness inside a restlessness.’"

NamJoon meditates on her words and let's it ring in his ears as the last sound waves fade away:

I am a restlessness inside a stillness inside a restlessness…

JungMi nods to herself, content with the choice of words, “I think it perfectly describes me in this bookstore within this world. It's a breath of fresh air in a world that moves too fast.”

A breath of fresh air…

In a world that moves too fast…

NamJoon takes a deep breath, his lungs expanding to their full capacity, “Yeah… I agree...”