IQ148 // namjoon ✔️

__APRIL__

April; 2014

Demian is a relatively short book; the translation he read is about 200 pages.

The reason it took NamJoon so long to officially finish the book is because he had to go back and re-read it.

Reading through it once only made him realize how much he didn't understand it.

Reading through it a second time made him realize things he didn't notice the first time reading through.

Reading through it briefly a third time was when he actually started to analyze the text and develop an analysis.

NamJoon can easily summarize the book as such:

Demian presents the reflections of an older man, Emil Sinclair, on his childhood as a young boy who was raised in a middle class home, amidst what is described as a "world of light" as well as "world of illusion". Emil's entire existence can be summarized as a struggle between two worlds: the show world of illusion and the real world, the world of spiritual truth. In the course of the novel, Emil is caught between good and evil, represented as the light and dark realms. Accompanied and prompted by his mysterious classmate and friend 'Max Demian', he detaches from and revolts against the superficial ideals of the world of appearances and eventually awakens into a realization of self.

Emil Sinclair recounts the various episodes of his childhood that led to a profound change in his worldview. Interspersed in and among these tales are Sinclair's recollections of what he was thinking at the time in question and some analysis of why he acted as he did in any given situation.

However, that isn't the difficult part. Seeing a short overview of the story makes sense. But dissecting the narrative and studying it much deeper than an overall summary is when things become difficult.

The mind of Hermann Hesse is very distant and elaborate, but NamJoon still tries to process the story through the perspective of the author; even through the eyes of the main character, Emil Sinclair.

NamJoon is aware that Hesse explores an individual's search for authenticity, self-knowledge and spirituality. He knows that Hesse is focally writing based on Carl Jung’s sermons of psychoanalysis; one of the central topics of conversation concerns understanding the inner workings of other people.

He is also aware of Emil Sinclair’s struggle with the two realms; the realms of good and evil. Dark and light. Sinclair’s character development is largely dependant on embracing duality and his coming to accept that it is all right to enjoy things from the realm of darkness, things one might refer to as evil. Ultimately, Sinclair comes to reject the notion that he should worry about what is good and what is evil in deciding how to act. It’s the major theme of duality; the existence of opposing forces and the idea that both are necessary.

NamJoon comes to realize that Hesse and Sinclair are essentially the same person. Hesse captures his own torment in being pulled by forces in different directions, towards the two different realms, through Sinclair’s character development.

That much is obvious. But…

“The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever will be born must first destroy a world.”

Even after reading it over and over, he can’t find the answer he’s been searching for.

“The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas.”

Abraxas… Perhaps the answer is much deeper than a 200 page novella. Perhaps its beyond what the mind of Emil Sinclair and Herman Hesse can comprehend, because it is definitely beyond what NamJoon can fathom.