Street 237

Chapter 21: A Part of Me

I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought of Chase leaving. Loving, caring Chase. The one who had always been with me since I had been on the streets. The ones who helped me get food and warmth and even sometimes shelter!
I wanted to ask, but at the same time I didn't. He didn't like questions, but I needed answers.
"What do you mean?" I held onto him tightly.
After a minute, I released him and he looked into my eyes.
"I don't want to say, London." His voice was calm and smooth as usual. He always remained calm. "I don't want you to worry about when, or how. But—if I am not at the corner with the group everyday at three sharp, just know—I'm gone."
Why was he telling me that? I couldn't understand. Did he want me to be miserable?
Did he want to save me from having to worry about what happened to him? Why was he telling me? And yet—not telling me how.
"London, say something please."
I didn't realize I was distracted my thoughts for a minute or two and was blankly staring into his eyes.

I bit my lip and crossed my arms across my chest. It hurt, my heart. "Why?"
He perked an eyebrow at my question.
"Why are you going to die? Tell me, Chase."

"It isn't your concern," He said, "I just—am."
I know Chase always suffered from a terrible cough, and at times he would cough up blood. However, he thought I never saw it. He tried to hide it many times.
I don't know what was causing it though, and as I said before, he didn't like questions so I never asked.
"It is my concern, you're being secretive!" My voice was somewhat harsh.
"You're never secretive."

He looked down at the ground before he stood to his feet. I could feel the warmth generating from him leaving.
"Somethings must be kept secret. You have secrets too I'm sure."
I did...
One big one too.

That I had feelings for him.but then was hardly the time to say it.
"No I don't," I lied, "I tell you everything."
"London, trust me this time. I love you like my little sis, but this is something you don't need to worry about."
He started to walk away until I pried myself from the concrete and grabbed his arm.
"Chase—"
He turned and looked at me.
I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I tried to contain myself.
That was as vulnerable as I had ever been. He was my rock, my comfort and my strength. And he was going to leave. He's a part of me. How was I suppose to let that go?
"Please don't leave me," I whined. My voice was weak and cracking.
I saw sympathy in his eyes that were typically serious and indifferent.
"London," his voice was calm and slightly shaken.
I could tell he saw the weakness in me; Him. He was my weakness.
He took my hands in his and pulled me into another hug. His chin rested on my head.
"Everything on this street fades away. Nothing is permanent. That includes people, my little Robin." He said in a low, soft tone. It was comforting. I was his little Robin. I felt as vulnerable as an injured robin. I needed my strong eagle to stay by my side.
He was what kept me going.
"I can't lose you." I murmured from the crook of his neck.
He gave me a tight squeeze, "It's your turn to fly."
With that, he kissed my forehead and left me...

I stood there and watched as he walked away. Tears flowed from my eyes and I felt my head spin. My vision was blurred and my heart was broken.
He left me....
I felt overdramatic. I felt as if I was overreacting but I couldn't help it. What was once a stranger turned into a friend, a dear friend. And then I come to acceptance that I like him more than a friend—and he leaves.
I bit my lip and brought a hand to my mouth as I tried not to just break down.
I couldn't and I wouldn't.

I had to be strong. There's no room for the weak on the streets and no time to waste tears. I would go to the corner street where the pity group meets and check for Chase everyday.
And the day he isn't there, I will know what happened, and at least I won't have to be left with worry, or questions.

I just wished I could have told him how I felt....