Baby Boy (Whip 1) SAMPLE

5. In your arms

DEAN

I'm not sure what came over me. I have been so scared by that Dom, that when Damien made him go away, I just acted on pure instinct.

I can't even remember the last time I hugged someone other than Michael or Misha, and I hate to admit that it feels nice.

Damien's strong arms are wrapped tightly around my body, and instead of feeling uncomfortable by the contact like I usually am, all I feel is safe. I feel the control over my emotions slipping and I try to keep a hold on it, but it's impossible, so after struggling for a few moments, I let go.

I start to weep like a baby, my body shaking with loud sobs as I grip the soft shirt beneath my hands tightly and bury my face into the strong chest.

In the next moment, I'm swept off the floor and I find myself in Damien's arms being carried away. The thought of protesting goes through my mind but I quickly discard it and just throw my arms around Damien's neck, squeezing tightly.

After a couple of minutes, I hear the door being shut, blocking the sounds from the club, and feel Damien sit down with me in his lap.

A large hand begins rubbing circles across my back while a soft voice keeps shushing me and telling me that everything is going to be alright. The motion helps to calm me down, and I soon find myself dozing off.

∞∞∞

I wake up, feeling disoriented. My head is pounding, my eyes are puffy and swollen, and, worst of all, I can't move. Scared out of my mind, I suck up the courage to open my eyes and see where I am, but the moment I see Damien, everything comes back to me.

My cheeks flush once I remember jumping Damien and then crying all over him, feeling completely embarrassed to have had the man witness my meltdown.

I look up and see that Damien is fast asleep with his head thrown back against the couch. He still has his arms wrapped around me, and I feel afraid to move because I don't know what to do or say if he wakes up.

Glancing around, I realize that we are in Michael's office, and, making sure that Damien is still asleep, I take the chance to study him.

He looks peaceful, his face relaxed and a small smile on his lips. I have to admit that he is a very handsome man, with a strong jaw, high cheekbones, full lips, and those sinful eyes that are now hidden under his eyelids.

I suddenly feel a strong desire to touch him and to kiss those lips, which confuses me.

What is it about this man that makes me feel so deeply?

"See something you like?" I hear a deep voice say, making me jump out of his lap and almost fall on my ass in the process. The action is followed by soft chuckles, which make my whole body flush bright red.

Staring intently at the ground as I am, I'm surprised by the feeling of soft fingers under my chin, making me look up. With those green eyes pointed at me once again, I can't tear my gaze away even if I wanted to, which I don't.

"Are you okay?" Damien asks while his fingers softly caress my cheek, sending shivers through my body.

I feel a need steering in my lower abdomen, which takes me by complete surprise. It has been too long since I felt that way, and I honestly thought that I never would again. But the feeling of arousal is quickly followed by one of shame. Damien has been nothing but kind to me; he has helped me and is now trying to make sure that I'm okay, and there I am, lusting after him like a slut.

Don't be stupid Dean, I berate myself, someone like Damien could never want someone like you, a broken whore with nothing to offer.

I take a few steps back, letting Damien's fingers slip from my face, feeling my eyes starting to burn with tears that I'm desperate not to let fall, so I pull myself together as quickly as I can before looking up.

"I feel fine, Sir, thank you. I am sorry for ruining your evening, I am sure you had more important things to do tonight. But thank you for helping me, I appreciate it." I say as quickly as I can and then turn around and all but run out of the office. I can hear Damien calling my name, but I just keep on going without bothering to turn around.

Stepping out of the club, into the cold autumn evening, I hug myself tightly and quicken my pace, not even considering going back for my jacket that is hanging in the locker.

Once I'm in my apartment, I take all of my clothes off, shimmy into the bed, and pull the covers over my head. Then, after curling into a fetus position and hugging my knees, I finally allow myself to break down.

∞∞∞

The stupid ringtone that Misha has set on my phone is screaming into my ear, waking me up from a restless sleep.

I take the phone from the bedside table and glare at the hideous contraption as if I can make it disappear with sheer willpower.

When I'm sure that it is going to keep on ringing if I let it be, I sigh and answer.

"What!?"

"Well, hello to you too, sunshine! Aren't we all perky today!" I hear Misha's chirpy voice from the other side of the line and groan.

"I am sorry Red; I had a long night and didn't catch a lot of sleep."

"I bet you that I can fix that! We, my dear friend, are going shopping today!" Misha exclaims happily and I let out a long groan. Shopping with Misha is not what any sane person would ever call a fun experience.

"Nah ah, I don't want to hear it! We are going. I've got Daddy's black card and an okay to go crazy, and you don't want to know what I did last night to accomplish that, so you are going to get out of that bed, take a shower and be ready in half an hour!"

Before I can disagree, the call is already disconnected. With a huff and feeling more than a little disgusted, I get up and go to get ready.

After three hours of mindless wandering from one shop to the other, my feet are killing me, but I have to admit that I'm having fun.

Misha and his brother, who is just a younger, slightly less chirpy version of him, keep cracking disgusting jokes, and I'm ashamed to admit that I find them funny. So, after a while, I give up the pretense and laugh, and for the first time in weeks, I feel myself relax.

We are at the movie theater at the moment, watching some new romantic comedy, which Misha's friend kept raving about. It is crap in my opinion, but Misha and Sasha seem to like it so I keep my mouth shut and my giggles to the bare minimum.

My eyes drift from the silver screen where the main characters are currently professing their undying love to each other, to the two boys sitting beside me and looking at their elated faces I feel my heart flutter.

So, what if I never find someone to be with. All I need is right here; my best friend who loves me just as I am, scars and baggage in tow, and his slightly weird, but still a loveable younger brother.

And that is enough for me, or, at least it will have to be.