SLEEPSONG (BoyxBoy)✔️

Chapter 44

Chapter Forty Four

After Diana left, I sat in the kitchen for a long time, thinking about things while I drank. 

My head felt pleasantly fuzzy, but I wanted it to feel fuzzier so I opened the next can of beer and started chugging it down. It did nothing for my thirst, of course, but it dulled the feeling of my body becoming too sensitive just enough for me to not writhe like a worm.

I looked around, staring at the kitchen, reminiscing over the weeks that had passed.

I'd been here for a long time.

We'd left Michigan near the end of July, and it was currently the middle of August. The weather outside was changing, little by little, the trees were losing their green and the air was getting a little colder with each passing day. It would start snowing again before I knew it.

I set my chin on my hand, staring at the wall as I daydreamed about the first snowfall of the year.

Believe it or not, I loved the wintertime. 

I hated being cold, but I loved snow since it painted even the ugliest material things in a beautiful, sparkling white blanket and sheltered them indiscriminately. 

A chill suddenly prickled the back of my neck and I shivered, muscles jerking, but I didn't break out of my thoughts until I heard a soft intake of breath. I blinked, snapped out of my reverie, and turned to see Sebastian staring at me with half-lidded eyes and a raised eyebrow.

"Why are you still here? And why are you dressed like that?" he asked, voice carrying despite its low pitch. The t-shirt he wore in made his muscled arms stand out and seemed to make the bulk of his shoulders and chest even bulkier, if that were possible; his curly hair was disheveled, and he was wearing a simple pair of black jeans that hugged his hips comfortably.

His eyes were dimmer than I remembered them being.

"Tiffany was sad that I was leaving, so I agreed to stay one more night," I said once I found my voice, watching as he stopped right next to me and leaned on the table. "She gave me the makeover she's been craving, and we watched movies together in her room."

His mouth curled as he said, "seems like she enjoys your company more than I thought she would. Although, I can't say I'm surprised... out of everyone here, she's the most naive."

I didn't know how to respond to that so I didn't. 

Instead, I took another drink of my beer, then looked at the can with a small frown.

"Want one?" I asked, twisting to look at him; his face changed, then, darkening a little.

"How many have you had?"

"A lot. I'm trying to get wasted."

"Why?" he growled, eyes flaring brighter for a second. "Explain yourself."

"I'm sad and confused," I said simply. "What other reason do I need?"

He instantly looked away, and when he did his eyes glinted in the dark. 

"I'll drink one," he said.

I cracked open another can and handed it to him, which he took; he tossed it back, Adam's apple bobbing, before he stared off at the wall behind me.

"I thought you would have been long gone by now."

"I'm not that callous," I muttered, stomach churning a bit. "I don't know what it is that I really want, okay? I only know that if you... want to be with me, you have to... let me want that for myself, first. I don't know how we ended up here, or why you're interested, nothing."