Officially Us

11 - No amount of candles will light our path out of this black hole . . .

I must have fallen asleep too with Sadie right there in my arms because I woke up with the rising sun a few hours later. Panic set in immediately. How the hell was I going to get out of her house now without being seen? What was I going to tell my father when he found out I wasn't at home? How the hell do I explain this to Tanner when he finds out?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Sadie was still asleep in the same position she was when she passed out there in the early hours of this morning. I had woken with my head leaning on hers, resulting in some major neck pain, like the kind you get when you fall asleep at awkward angles on a long flight trying not to end up leaning on the stranger. I also couldn't feel my ass seeing as I had been sitting on it in the same position for hours. Now I was awake I became desperate to stretch out and regain feeling in my ass cheeks again. Also, I wanted to know how the hell I was going to get out of this one. 

I moved slightly underneath Sadie, which, of course, woke her up instantly. She seemed as panicked as I felt when she realised the time and what had happened. "Oh, shit." 

She let go of my hand, which felt the loss of hers so immediately the very second it was gone. "I'm so sorry, Ruben. I didn't mean to fall asleep," she said looking up at me, her ocean blue eyes deeply apologetic staring into mine. 

While she was no longer laying on my chest, she was still closer to me than she had ever been before, which meant when she looked up at me, she was perfectly positioned for me to kiss her, which was the first thing that popped into mind when I looked at her. Everything in me was screaming at me to do it, except the more dominant, friendly part that didn't want to take advantage of a shitty situation with a friend while my other friend was away. 

Being a good person fucking sucks sometimes. 

"Ruben?" Sadie said, hesitantly. "Can you . . . Can you maybe not tell Tann about this?" 

I really didn't know how she thought either of us were going to get away with this. "Which part, Sade?" 

"Any of it. What happened last night. You staying over," she said. She looked nervous, and kept looking towards her door as if she expected him to rush in the very second and bust us together.  

"Sade, I don't even know exactly what happened last night," I whispered. "All I know is that Seth calls me in the middle of the night sounding panicked, asks me to come over, that it has something to do with your sister and your stepdad, sneaks me into your room where you look utterly terrified and in shock, with your brothers and sister refusing to leave your side. I couldn't tell him even if I wanted to because I don't know anything!" 

"I know, Ruben, I'm sorry. I didn't want Seth to call you, but he insisted." 

"Sadie, you promised me you would call me if anything happened. You should have been the one to call me." I didn't mean for it so sound accusatory, but I sensed that it did as soon as it left my mouth, and so did she. 

"Well, forgive me for not thinking to stop and pull out my phone that I'm not even allowed to have while I'm being slapped across the face by my fucking wasted stepfather as I try to pry his hands off my mother after watching him throw her to the floor and hit her for not stopping my selfish fucking sister from leaving with her fucking drug-dealing boyfriend. Next time I watch my mother being beaten and my brothers and sister are crying hysterically in the corner as we both get slapped around, I'll remember to ask him to stop for two fucking seconds so I can call you to give you a play by play of how it's all going down." 

She said it all so quickly I don't know that she even took a breath, and I don't think I inhaled the whole time either. She might still be whispering, but the hurt in her voice was clear and loud and terrifying.