Chapter Twenty Four

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September 1862

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September 1862

  When night time came and the rest of the nurses had gone to sleep, Jasper sought me out.

"I couldn't believe that it was you." Jasper said, and I grabbed his hands happily, unable to believe my luck. All I'd wanted to do since February was be with him again, and the universe gave me my chance on a silver platter.

Everything was worth it to see him again.

Jasper practically dragged me with him to his tent, and I followed readily, connecting my lips with his the second the tent was closed. He pushed me away, much to my chagrin, and he shook his head and looked at me like I was a vile temptress.

"You're engaged." he reminded me, and it was my turn to shake my head.

"I'm not." I said, a grin spreading across my face as I flashed him my bare hand, the bruises on my arm long gone and long forgotten. Jasper picked me up by my waist before I knew it, spinning me in the air before putting me down pulling me towards him for yet another kiss, and I reciprocated, tangling my hands in his coat, completely overjoyed.

Jasper sat me down on his bed and I tangled my hands in his blonde hair as I continued to kiss him. My heart was beating out of my chest and my breaths were short and irrational as my hands wandered over Jasper's form, slipping under his coat and undershirt to make contact with his bare skin.

I couldn't care less about propriety as Jasper pulled me closer towards him, until I was on his lap, and he started to undo my dress, breaking the kiss for the hard work of taking me out of my clothing.

I'd waited too long to see Jasper again, the months wearing on. Right or wrong didn't matter in that moment, as Jasper was the only right that I was certain of. He was marvelous, picking up on seemingly every emotion that I had, sometimes before even I could register it.

Jasper rubbed my hip as we laid together after we'd finished, and I draped my bare leg over him in a content haze, kissing him again with a feather light touch.

"You should go back to your tent." Jasper said through tired eyes, and though I knew I should be offended I couldn't find myself to be in the slightest. He was right.

I snuggled deeper into Jasper's side, and the wrapped an arm around me as if that could somehow shield me from the world and all of it's judgement. "I don't want to." I complained.

Eventually I was able to pry myself out of Jasper's bed and put back on my underthings and my dress, and he watched me as he propped himself up on his elbow, not offering to help in the slightest.

"I think I liked it better when I was taking your dress off."

Every night was the same thing, and though I hardly got any sleep I had never been happier. It wasn't necessary sex every night, but it was spending time with Jasper, talking to Jasper, being with him again, but more than we'd ever been able to be around each other ever before.

It was all I wanted.

We had long conversations about topics too large to be covered in our numerous letters, like our childhoods. I learned that I had been right about my assumptions of Jasper back when we met. He'd had no choice to join the confederacy. His family had needed the money desperately, and he would've been offered up by now if he hadn't already joined. Signing was able to feed his family in his absence, and working his way up the ranks had allowed him to keep them alive.

He would've deserted long ago if it hadn't meant that they'd be at risk of struggling again. Sure, he'd been able to buy his mother and his siblings a house to live in, and food to eat, but at any time something could turn south and they could end up at the war's mercy. His mother was already preparing for his younger brother to enlist.

In return I was able to share my childhood with him, recounting bitter sweet memories of running after hurricane Charlotte. I was able to share sweeter memories too, of times before my mother got sick, of learning to knead bread and bake pies and decorate cakes.

In hushed words I explained what it had felt like to tend to my mother on her deathbed, trying to cool her never ending fever, attempting to soothe the angry welts that popped up all over her skin, reminiscent of the chicken pox I'd managed through as a child.

  When I started to cry he wiped away my tears, promising that I'd never feel pain like that again.

No topic was left unspoken about, but a favorite was the future.

A future we'd never get to have.

Every night, without fail, Jasper dutifully walked me back to my own tent. There was no doubt in our minds that people had noticed us at least once, but not breaking too many rules made people less likely to speak up about it.

One night, I stopped him.

"When this is all over, will you do me a favor?" I clung to Jasper, my arms wrapped around his neck as I looked up at him, and he smiled at me.

"Depends on the favor."

"Marry me." I whispered, as faint as the wind that rustled the tents around us, and Jasper nodded his head, smiling his glorious smile, practically setting the world alight with joy.

"I love you." He said, like a prayer as he ducked his head down to kiss me, and I stood on my tiptoes, not caring who saw us. "I wish I had the ring on me now."

"That would make for the perfect moment." yet, even without a ring nothing could ever top this second in my life, my joy was immeasurable.

"I'll go back and get it."

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