Chapter Twenty Two

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February-May 1862

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February-May 1862

After Charlotte departed Jasper practically swept me away, and I was led to the field in which he and his men had camped, though it was freezing now, at least in my mind.

"Close your eyes." Jasper said, and I complied, covering my eyes with my hands for theatricality, and waiting.

"What am I closing my eyes for?" I laughed, feeling silly just standing in the middle of a field with my eyes closed. I could feel my dress lightly blowing in the slight wind, and I counted in my head.

1
2
3
4

"You can open your eyes now." Jasper said softly, and I complied, gasping when I saw Jasper bowed in front of me, on one knee, a ring in his hand, and he grabbed my hand gently, though a dainty ring was already perched there.

"Jasper, what are you-" I started, practically horrified. I was engaged already, he knew that. The physical evidence was staring him in the face. We'd had a lovely month together, spending almost every moment in each other's presence, but I couldn't do this.

  Not with Charlotte's look of betrayal so fresh in my eyes.

Now I knew what she'd put together before I had, and where her hurt had stemmed from. Jasper hadn't developed a sudden interest in jewelry for no reason.

"Please, Leanne, let me finish." Jasper said, as I shook my head, taking my hand from his, causing him to sigh. I wanted to say yes, I really did.

I couldn't though. My heart yearned to say yes, I almost felt physical pain rejecting his offer, but still, I shook my head no.

  Jasper put the ring back in his pocket, sadness filling his blue eyes, and I crouched down to his level, not caring if my dress got dirty. "Jasper, you don't understand how much I want to say yes to you." I said, placing my hand on his face, and I felt him flinch as the cold metal of my engagement ring touched his cheek. "I love you. I don't know when it happened, but I do." I confessed, and his eyes held a slight glimmer of hope. "I can't though, especially not now." I placed a small kiss to his lips, and this time he was the one to pull away.

Jasper stood up, reaching a hand out for me, and I took it, enjoying the feeling of his warm skin against mine. I wished I could say yes so badly, and I tried to imagine what it would be like.

Being with Jasper would be as simple as breathing. My first look into his eyes easily answered that for me, I'd known it even back then. It would be simple, no rules, no learning how to be the perfect wife, just simply being myself and being with him.

We could be happy together. We would be happy together, if I could say yes. My loyalty to my friend and my sense of duty over-rid anything else I felt though.

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