Emeline Rivera has done the same things since practically the moment she was born. Wake up, go to school, hang out with her friends, spend time with her mom, and have scarily realistic dreams at night. With some fainting mixed in of course. Forks's...
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February 1862
I was practically abuzz when February came upon me. Jasper had sent a letter informing me that he was being sent to my base to survey the soldiers that were being trained here. I knew that I most likely wouldn't be able to spend time with him, but I was still overwhelmingly excited to be in the same place as him once more.
I was cleaning up a few of our supplies and putting our bottle of whiskey away, bending over, when I felt a pair of large hands. I was prepared to scream out when I was suddenly turned around, my dress creasing where large hands were holding me.
I looked up to see who had grabbed me, and my arms wrapped around Jasper's neck in excitement. "You're here!" I practically sighed as I found my head resting in the crook of his neck, his warm breath washing over me as he chuckled. I could've stayed there for centuries if I was able.
It wasn't a pose we'd ever found ourselves in before, but it felt natural, like we'd embraced a million times over.
"I am." he said happily, and I loosened my grip on him, setting myself at a proper distance away from Jasper, and he removed his hands from my waist.
"I missed you." I sighed, a smile plastered onto my face, and Jasper smiled back at me, a singular dimple indenting his angular cheek. He looked older than the last time I saw him, though it had only been a few months. "Come here." I said, pulling him into the healing tent.
"Trying to get me alone?" Jasper joked as I closed up the tent, and he sat down on one of the beds.
"I shouldn't be alone with you." I warned, before sitting on the bed as well, folding my hands over the red cross on my apron. "I don't often do what I should do, but I don't want rumors to start up. They could effect Henry." I was practically over the moon seeing Jasper again, but if people were to see us together I knew it would somehow get back to my fiancé. I didn't need that. "This is the only time I'll permit it."
"You're serious about the getting married." Jasper said incredulously, and I tilted my head.
Why wouldn't I be? I had until next spring, but I had to be married. Surely Jasper must understand that.
"I am." and with that statement Jasper's lips were upon mine. He held my waist tenderly as I leaned forward, closing my eyes. He kissed me like he was trying to convince me to abandon every thought I had, not just the ones about getting married. He was desperate, clinging onto me. And though it had never happened before, kissing Jasper, just like embracing him, cane easier than breathing. We kissed for what seemed like a lifetime before I pushed him away, every molecule in my body screaming at me to do the opposite.
"I can't, Jasper. I'm engaged." I said, flashing my ring to him, and Jasper grabbed my hand, kissing each of my fingers lightly.
"Would it be wrong to say that I don't care?" he asked, and I could feel my resistance waning.
Jasper was electrifying. Being around him made me feel like a completely different person. On top of that, he was wildly attractive. No matter the personal preference I was sure anyone would agree with me on that fact, his tall form was lithe and muscular, and his blonde curls were overgrown, waving around his face at chin length as his steel gray eyes looked into my own, my delicate hand still in his clutches.
"I can't." I repeated, and Jasper let my hand drop softly.
The melodramatics of it all were sickening, and if I could go back to that moment, or any of those before it, everything would be so much simpler. If you want something, truly, deeply want something, it should be simple. There should be no questions or uncertainties, just actions.
"Leanne, please."
"You barely even know me." I insisted, trying not to look into his eyes. I barely knew him yet I felt the same draw. It was as if something was physically pulling us together. Writing had made the connection worse, a current traveling between us now as I tried to keep my head steady, forcing myself to restrain from reaching out to him.
"I do though. I know who you are. Your personality shines through in every word you write. You're so different from everyone else and I-" Jasper sighed, before continuing, a foreign gleam in his eye. "I told you that you didn't understand the effect you had on me." Jasper said, catching my gaze as he pleaded with me, and I found myself leaning forward to capture another kiss as his fingers intertwined with my own, resting on my lap.
Sinking into Jasper made things easy. My thoughts could go silent for a moment, and i could exist for once, without any stress, nothing holding me back. His hand slid up to cup my cheek, and I placed my hand over it, instinctively lacing my fingers with his.
It was clear that friendship wasn't an option with Jasper. In reality, from the moment I'd read his first letter I'd understood that fact, but it was a different kind of feeling in person.
Everything was different in person.
It wasn't fair to Henry, it wasn't fair to myself, and it certainly wasn't fair to Jasper, but I couldn't stop myself from basking in every moment I could share with him.
It still wasn't enough.
Jasper insisted on spending his free time with me while he was still surveying the soldiers, and I submitted to him easily. Even when I went home for the weekends he accompanied me, and though it was risky I couldn't find myself complaining, as I was far too happy to be in his presence yet again.
Charlotte was the first to notice of course. Charlotte has always been able to see right through me. I'd been careless, half not caring as I strolled with Jasper through town, showing him a few of the shops and introducing him to people, and he left me outside as he went into the jewelry store to look around aimlessly.
To anyone else it could've looked like two friends walking, but Charlotte saw through that facade in an instant, waiting until Jasper was out of sight until she spoke. Probably less out of curtesy than self preservation. "How could you do this?" she insisted, her face clearly taken aback.
"What?" I asked innocently. I'd done wrong, but she couldn't possibly know that by seeing me walk with someone.
"You can't just betray Henry like this he-"
"He needs me, I know." I was being selfish, but if I was being fair with myself it didn't look that strange or scandalous at all for me to be walking with a soldier. It was common knowledge that I was a nurse for the army. Charlotte had met Jasper though, the same night I did, and that was where her betrayal stemmed from. She knew how I'd looked at him.
Charlotte scoffed, and I wondered how she was able to stand there and judge me. She'd done much worse than simply walk with someone or kiss them.
"I'm not doing anything wrong." I insisted, practically pleading with her to believe me. I still had every intention of marrying Henry. None of my actions that Charlotte had seen would suggest anything less than that. She was making snap judgements.
Jasper came out of the shop, fiddling with his pocket, and his eyes widened almost comically when he saw Charlotte.
"Tell that to him." she said, glaring at him, as if she was privy to something I didn't know. After a long scrutinizing glare, Charlotte stormed off in the opposite direction.
A/N It's the beginning of the end for Jasper and Leanne
