28 days in Christmas Town✔

Chapter 23

P. S. the image above is how the Dukes' Christmas tree looks like

Chapter 23
Dec 18

Sipping the glass of water he handed to me, I whisper "Thank you for listening to me. It must be exhausting paying attention to someone's else's life when you have yours to worry about"

"You're probably the first person I know that feels guilty about pouring out one's own emotions"

"I don't like depending on people. I don't like being vulnerable"

"You can also be independent and vulnerable at the same time. It's not a terrible idea"

I pursed my lips as a response and looked around the house "It's a shame that the first time I'm visiting your house is when I'm an emotional mess". His house was alot more impressive than I thought and looked too expensive for a primary school music teacher to afford.

I got a peek of his dimples when he smiled "I guess It is, but I'm glad you called me. I can imagine how hard it was for you to swallow your pride and call me"

"Naturally my best friend was my go-to girl at times like this. It's so frustrating that she's miles away and I miss her so much. It's so weird that I'm so dependent on her for many things and yet, i love my independence"

"Maybe it's because she was the only person you could lean on. Your mom was with Sarayah, your dad remarried and you couldn't let yourself affect or disturb his new marriage in any way and you didn't want to seem like a burden to your aunt who already has her own family to deal with. Your best friend was all you had"

"Was it selfish of me to walk out of the house?" I looked down at my outfit and shook my head in disbelief. I was still wearing my pyjamas in someone else's house but for the first time, i wasn't upset about it. I had more emotionally pressing issues than how I looked and it kept me grounded, in the way it could.

"Depends on your reasons. Why did you do it?"

"I have no concrete reason, to be honest. I'm just feeling overwhelmed. Hearing all these. I thought Sarayah was perfect, all my life. I had built this image of her in my head and let myself go through all sorts of emotional baggage. I had no idea she was bullied in school and I never knew about her poor school grades too.  What type of sister doesn't know any of that? I also had no idea my mom was the one that placed Aunt Carole in my life, in the first place. I didn't know that mom was only staying to protect Sarayah's image. I feel so selfish all these while"

Ayo grunts at me "You can't blame yourself for that. You didn't know. You were acting on what you experienced. Your emotions were justified. Whether she was protecting Sarayah or not, it doesn't change the fact that she abandoned you. It doesn't change the fact that you changed as a person, because of your circumstances. It doesn't change the fact that you pushed yourself away from any family connection with your father and aunt, so you wouldn't stand in the way of their happiness. It doesn't change that you sacrificed for everyone, but yourself. So don't blame yourself. It happened. Miscommunication happens. It's just alot better everything has been rectified"

I gave him a small smile "You seem really passionate about this speech"

"It reminds of a portion of my life. It's a solid advice"

He succeeded in making me smile that day, despite how much had happened today. I clearly didn't make the wrong choice calling him first after all. Not that I had doubts in his abilities, I was just generally afraid of opening up about everything "Can I stay over? Just tonight. I'm not ready to face my mom just yet"

Pecking my knuckles, sending flutters down my body and a pang to my heart "It's fine by me"

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