♡ | Stigma

17

♡ | Chapter 17

'nope, nada, zilch...'

A thick awkward silence filled the car. Of course Yeon Ji acted oblivious to it all, and attempted to make small talk. I brushed off his attempts with one word replies.

From the way he opened and closed his mouth and cleared his throat several times, I knew he was trying his best to think of ways to get me to talk.

At the hotel lobby Yeon Ji had offered to give me a ride. But only after he made a big fuss over my split lip.

Since finding a taxi was next to impossible considering the crowd that had accumulated, I decided to comply.

I was actually enjoying having the upperhand for once. So I decided to let him suffer for a few more minutes before speaking up.

"Why are you doing this?"

"What do you mean this?" He seemed relived that I was finally talking but also confused.

"Popping up in my life out of nowhere."

"Maybe because I enjoy your company?" He said with a playful grin.

I stared at his face in silence, until his smile fell off, and he groaned in defeat.

"Two years." I continued, "Not a word from you for two years. You left me, Yeon Ji..."

His Adams apple bobbed as he gulped and spoke with a sigh, "I know."

I felt my throat constricting as the oh-so-familiar heartache returned.

"Really? Is that all you have to say?"

"I don't know what else to say, Lisa," he sighed. "I'm sorry, I really am. I regret leaving you. And if I could go back in time, I would never make that terrible decision. But now...I don't know what to do."

I pursed my lips to stop the sobs, but there was nothing I could do to stop the hot tears that started pooling in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.

I wasn't crying because of his words.

I was crying because no matter how much he had hurt me, I was still ready to accept him back into my life. I was still ready to be with him, knowing that he had the power to hurt me all over again.

He parked the car on the sidewalk and looked at me while I kept looking out the window trying to hold myself together.

"We're already late for the concert." I reminded him, my voice sounding strained.

"Tell me you don't miss what we have and I'll let you be. I'll stay away from you." He pleaded.

"Had."

"Huh?"

"What we had." I pointed out and wiped at the tears with my sleeve.

"Okay, okay...what we had. Just...give me one chance. I'll make it up to you. Please?"

His hand kept reaching towards me only to stop himself. I knew he was itching to hold me, comfort me.

This was my Yeon Ji. The Yeon Ji who always made me laugh. The Yeon Ji who always comforted me when I cried. This was the Yeon Ji who was always there for me.

But he was also the Yeon Ji that left me two years ago.

"I...can't."

He reached out and clasped my hand in his.

I should have snatched my hand away. I should have resisted.

But I didn't want to.

I missed the warmth, security and comfort that surrounded him. I could lie to myself all I want, but that doesn't make the lie turn into a truth.