Never

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*John POV*

"John, get up. Come on, we're going to be late."

"Mhhh...what do you want?"

Someone throws a pillow at me, jumping back when I sit up.

"You need to go back to your dorms John, Myc and I have work."

"Oh. Sorry."

I stand slowly, stretching put and grabbing my stuff before I thank Greg and leave the room. The walk back is slow, corridors empty and desolate. Our door is slightly ajar when I walk up, perfectly silent as I push it open and step in.

"Sherlock?"

Something shatters close to my head, followed by a scream of sorts. I jump back quickly, kneeling down to inspect the glass as the door slams shut and the lock clicks.

"Hey, its alright. Let me in, okay?"

Silence.

"Sherlock?"

The door opens again, Sherlock scrambling backwards as soon as I step towards him.

"Hey, its alright. What happened to you?"

He is high, way past drunk, sitting on the floor surrounded by a mess of papers, needles, and empty bottles.

"Sherlock?"

"He's gone...hes gone."

"Who?"

Sherlock turns to face me, startling me when I can see how bruised he is.

"Let me look at you."

He raises his arms in defense, blood dripping down his chest and stomach off of his wrists.

"Fucking hell. What are you doing?"

I kneel beside him carefully, reaching out slowly to pull his arms down.

"Its alright."

"Please..."

"Please what?"

"Don't...don't do it. Please dont do it."

"Sherlock, just talk to me. Its okay, I promise."

"Don't do it."

"Dont do what?"

He yells when I touch him again, falling backwards and onto his back as he tries to move away from me.

"Shhh...You're alright. What happened?"

"He...he came back."

"And what did he do to you?"

Sherlock shakes his head, mumbling softly as I gently pull him against my chest.

"Its alright, I promise."

I rock him slowly, whispering softly as I run my fingers through his hair.

"You dont have to talk much, just tell me how high you are and how much you drank."

"Too much. He...he made me..me drink a..a lot."

"I know. How much, do you know?"

He shakes his head again, pressing his face against my chest as I wrap my arms around him.

"Do you want me to get you down to the hospital?"

"Please dont. I...I can't go...cant go there. Please John dont make me!"

"Shhh, I'm sorry. Would you like to lie down?"

"Dont leave me."

I nod, picking him up gently and lying him down in his bed. Sherlock grabs my wrist suddenly, pulling me back towards the bed weakly.

"You need sleep."

"Stay. Please stay with me."

I wince, knowing he wants me to lie down.

"You kicked me out last night, why?"

"I...I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Of...of you."

"Me? Why Sherlock?"

"I can't. I'm not allowed to."

"Not allowed to what?"

"To have you! I cant have you. Ever. Its against the rules."

"The rules of what?"

Sherlock flinches when I sit on the edge of his bed, not relaxing until I reach over and gently take his hand.

"Sherlock. What rules?"

"Jim's rules."

"His rules for what?"

"I...I needed protection and...and other...things. He helped me, but I cant see anyone else."

"That's not right."

"Well those are the rules."

"Then the rules are wrong!"

Sherlock flinches at my sudden anger, pushing me away and curling up in a ball again.

"I'm sorry."

"I did it again."

"Did what again?"

"I make everyone mad at me. Everyone leaves me."

"Sherlock, I'm not mad at you. I'm pissed, but not at you. Never for something like this. I swear, alright? I shouldnt have snapped at you like that."

He slowly comes back to me, starting to shake when I wrap my arms around him.

"He's going to find out."

"Shhh...You're okay. If he tries to hurt you again I swear I'll hurt him. I'll hurt him for every time he has hurt you before."

"You can't go around killing people."

"I will. If thats what it takes to see you happy, I'll do anything."

"I am happy."

"Sherlock..."

He flinches again, but doesnt pull away from me this time.

"Its alright. You dont need to lie to me. Tell me what you need."

"Dont leave me. Please."

I lie my head on his, shifting so he can lean more comfortably against me.

"Never."

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