Romantics [Sillis]

Demisexual

Sadie

I sat with Millie and all of our friends at lunch.
Finn was sitting with Sophia and the other losers.
I'd love to join them, but I didn't want to upset Sophia.
She already looked so hurt.

Lunch soon ended and I went to my computer engineering class.
Sophia and I had that same class together and we don't really do anything in the class, so it gave me the perfect opportunity to apologize to her.

I sat down at a desk right beside her and she turns her head away from me.
I felt bad.
Halfway through the class I decided to finally apologize.
"Hey...I'm sorry for what I said this morning.
It's just that Millie has been super controlling lately and I got really scared when you started talking about my stepdad-"
"Sadie...I don't think we should be together if you're gonna let people control your life."

I felt like the world had gone completely quiet.
I didn't want to lose her.
"N-no I mean it's not that bad, I-"
"Sadie,"
Sophia interrupted me again and let out a sigh.
I was terrified now.
"You called me a carpet munching...whore.
I just-...I don't want to be with someone who's going to treat me like a disease.
I'm sorry."

I felt angry.
Not towards Sophia, I could never feel that way towards her.
I was angry at Millie.
She's ruining my life right in front of me.
She's the reason why I haven't talked to Sophia in a week.
She's the reason why I spent last Friday taking pictures of her sucking on lollipops instead of having dinner with the only person I truly care about.
It's all Millie's fault.

I stood up from my seat and left the classroom, ignoring mister Keery's calls for me.
I stomp down the hallways of this dumb school and to the fourth period gym class.
I threw the doors open and saw all the students playing dodgeball or whatever the fuck kind of sport they do here.

I instantly spotted the young brunette with that fake ass British accent and made my way over to her.
She had a ball in her hands and she was about to throw it to someone when I smacked it out of her hands and slapped her across the face.
She was shocked as I then grab the collar of her shirt and drag her towards the nearest wall just to slam her hard against it.

"Why do you like to fuck with me, huh?!
What did I ever do to you?!"
I scream in her face.
She was panting and grinning.
"Easy girl, I don't think you want me to tell everyone here about all your dirty little secrets."
She says loud enough for everyone to hear.

The gym was quite and I let go of her to slap her across the face again.
"What secrets!?
There are no secrets!
You just don't want me to talk to my girlfriend and all of her gay friends because you're a lying, manipulative, homophobic, lollipop sucking skank who wants me all to herself!"
My face felt so red and I could feel my blood boiling.

Millie raised her eyebrows in surprise after what I said.
I quickly realized that I just admitted to this whole gym that I'm dating a girl.
I turn around to face everyone in embarrassment and they all look at me like I'm a freak, a loser.
I saw Caleb looking back at me too.
He just had to be in this class at this time.
"Sadie...you're gay?"
The boy asks for confirmation with this sad look on his face.
I step away from Millie and slowly approach him as I explain it to him.

"No, I'm not gay.
I don't know what I am but I'm with Sophia and I didn't expect to come out this way, especially if I don't know what I am.
I know you probably think of me as disgusting for dating a girl, but I love her so much and I hate that everyone here is so close minded like Millie.
I just want to be happy with whoever I choose but it's so fucking hard when I have eight thousand people telling me that it's wrong and it disappoints them.
All I wanted to do was spend the day after Thanksgiving with my girlfriend, but instead I spent the whole day dressed like a prostitute while taking pictures of Millie shoving candy up her cunt."

Caleb gives me this weird and disgusted look as I heard a few murmurs from behind me.
"And I'm sorry that I called off our friends with benefits deal, it's just that I don't find you sexually attractive at all and I don't think I ever have, no offense.
It was hard for me to do that to you, but I wanted to be with Sophia because she understood me and she wasn't trying to get between my thighs.
We share real and emotional connections with each other."

"So you're demisexual."
I heard Wyatt speak from somewhere around the room.
How many people that I know are in this class?
I turn to look up at the frizzy haired guy who was holding a ball in front of his stomach.
"Demi-what?"
Caleb asks.

Wyatt rolls her eyes and broke it down for us.
"Well demisexuality is when you can only feel attraction towards someone who you have formed a strong emotional connection with.
You say that you and Sophia share an emotional connection, so you're demi."
Wow.
I'm demisexual.
That's a cool word and I guess Wyatt is right.

"Cool.
Thanks man."
Caleb said.
Wyatt glared at him.
"Bitch, I'm a woman, get it right."
I turn back to the boy right in front of me and gave him an apologetic look.
"There you have it, I'm a demisexual who's in love with a lesbian."
I announce.

"Sadie."
I heard my girlfriend's sweet voice call for me from the gymnasium doors.
I whip my head around and saw her standing there with a small smile.
Everyone turned their heads to look at her.
"How much of that did you hear?"
I ask in curiosity as I walk across the gym to get to her.

"I heard everything from when you were yelling at Millie to when you announced that you are demisexual and I thought everything you told Caleb was very sweet and... I accept your apology.
I know you didn't mean to call me a carpet muncher this morning and I know you didn't mean to ignore me.
I love you Sadie, my little marguerite."

There's that name that makes me absolutely weak.
I love her so much and I just couldn't stop smiling in this moment.
I lean in and gently press my lips against her for a quick small kiss.
I could hear some people screaming at us to "save it for the bedroom" but I just didn't care about all the hate they were giving.
I love Sophia Lillis and I wanna tell the whole world.

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Jesus fuck🏳️‍🌈