OneShots // Crush X reader

🥀 - What are Best Friends for?

Y/N's P.O.V

It had been a while since C/N and I had broken up, I'm sure he has moved on by now and that I'm just being a big baby about it. I feel utterly pathetic about it because it's been months already! No matter how much or how long I distract myself and tell myself I'm fine, that I'm over it. It's a lie. I would even go through the pain of being his best friend if it meant I could be by his side. I dwell on this so much that it begins to interfere with school work, I get so angry when I do this because I know we aren't going to get back together. He broke it off because it was getting too serious, he couldn't handle the pressure, I understand that and I'm not angry with him for that. I'm only upset because I've tried talking to him like we used to but it's not the same, he shows less interest and it makes me feel like I'm being annoying. I just have so many questions. Too many.

When I feel like I'm bothering him I go to my best friend, B/F/N, she says "if he doesn't put in the effort why should you?" or "The only way you'd find out, is by asking." I know what she says makes sense but I ask him a lot of silly questions as it is, I feel like I talk too much. There are times where I have almost texted him with questions like "Do you miss it?" When I say that half the time I don't even mean the romantic way because I know that would just make it more awkward than it already is, I mean it in the friendship way. If it were the other way, him asking me, I'd say yes. I miss it so much because he was such a big part of my life for a long time, I would gladly take the friendship if it were an option. I know it might come off as a bit unhealthy, but I leaned on him for almost everything and it was just like a smack in the face when I didn't have his shoulder to cry on anymore. I'm one of those people who when they like a person a lot, doesn't even have to be romantic, but if I like them enough I will want to tell them every insignificant little thing because I love having them in my life. So much that I don't want them to miss anything and if they do, I'll catch them up. Don't get me wrong he said that he would still be there for me, but I couldn't handle it at the time, now it's too late. I couldn't face him no matter how desperately I wanted to hear his voice, but like I said I'm just being a baby.

It was pretty late already as I hopped out of the shower, I was walking towards the door when I noticed my reflection in the mirror, causing me to halt. I've done this before, I stand there staring at myself for what could be 5 minutes yet feels like 5 hours. I don't know why exactly I do this but I do. I shake my head from my trance-like state, slightly laughing at myself. Good lord, what a weirdo I am. After I had finished getting dressed I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness, so I did what I also do. I stopped myself before it got out of control, I sat down on the floor leaning my back against my soft mattress and tough boxspring. I took deep breaths trying my best to calm myself. You're being dramatic, chill out. I said to myself, I knew it was true I had nothing to be upset about. My life was good, the school was tolerable, grades were alright, plus I had great friends. I had everything most people wanted, yet, this one stupid little thing takes over. I felt that I had calmed down enough to talk to B/F/N about it. She's going to tell me the same things but talking to her sometimes helps, not always but I'm a pretty talkative person so keeping it bottled is pretty hard.

We ended up calling, it was easier to explain, Kinda. She told me mostly the same things, but before she ended the call abruptly, she told me she was going to ask him. She was going to ask him flat out and was going to demand a truthful answer. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I thought about it. No, No she wouldn't. She wouldn't text him, she knows I'm too awkward for that. She's just joking. I continue to tell myself these things over and over again, trying to wrap my head around it. After a few minutes of me internally self-destructing, I got a message from her stating, "Meet him at the place you guys loved most." I huffed, does he need to be so cryptic, what is this? A soap opera? Although I just complained I knew the exact spot he was talking about.

~Time Skip (I'm literally going to fall asleep I'm so tired)~

When I got there, I almost turned on my heel and ran away. My body had gone into fight or flight mode and from what I could tell, it chose flight. My heart started to beat rapidly, my chest started to feel like it was collapsing, it hurt to breathe. I'm pretty sure I was having some sort of an anxiety attack but I wasn't sure or not. I don't think anyone really knows they are having an anxiety attack though, right? I stopped dead in my tracks, I saw him, standing as still as stone. He does that when he's nervous. I go to take another step but a small twig snaps under my shoe, causing him to flinch, immediately finding my eyes. "H-hey." I stammered out. He rubs the back of his neck, "Uh . . . Hey." He replies. Oh dear lord, please kill me, I hate awkward silence, you could cut the damn tension with a butter knife. I didn't know what to do in this situation. I walked over to him leaving a good amount of space between us, just so we had our own safety bubbles. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something but quickly stopped himself by closing it and turning to the side, the same position he was in before I had been caught. I literally hate everything about this, please help, I complained internally.

With a sigh I stood a bit closer to him, overlooking the man-made lake (in case you were wondering, yes those are real, and yes where I live we have them). Our favorite place was the little bridge over a small creek that flowed into the lake, it was so calm and peaceful, not many people came here. We stood for a few moments before I asked in a small voice, "Why did you want me to meet you here?" He stiffened, "I wanted to talk to you . . . about what B/F/N told me." My eyes widen and I began to panic, "W-w-what did she say?? I'm sorry about her! J-just forget abo-" I stop suddenly when I see him stifle a laugh, "What? Why are you laughing?" I asked, slightly defensive. He just looked at me with a wholehearted smile. "You still talk really fast when you panic, which causes you to stutter, it's just . . . cute, I guess." He says casually. I flush, before when he used to compliment me it was different because we were dating and I had gotten used to it but to hear him do the same thing after all that happened, it caught me off guard. He goes on to say, "I'm sorry . . . " I'm about to ask why but he continues, "I knew I didn't give much explanation but I did it for a good reason, I was drifting away and I didn't want it to affect you, so I figured if I had broken us off it would be easier on you. That was my mistake and I'm really sorry. If I had known you felt that way about the break up I wouldn't have done it." I stand there with my mouth partially agape. I wanted to say something but I didn't know what his words meant or how he wanted me to reply. He stood awkwardly, probably waiting for a response.

We continued to stand there for a while, not knowing what to say or how to say it. All I wanted was to be close to him, here I have the chance so why am I not taking it? I decided to finally speak, I turned back to face the Lake while having my arms neatly wrapped around me. "What does that mean?" I ask quietly. He takes in a deep breath which causes me to take one as well preparing for the worst, but silently hoping for the best. "I never stopped . . . loving you. I know that sounds cliche but it's the truth. It was hard the first month but I learned to get passed it. I focused my mind on other things for as long as I possibly could. I wanted to do my best to move on but . . . I just can't." Once he finishes I'm doing my best to fight back the prickly tears in my eyes. I know he can see them but I think he's waiting for a signal to comfort me. As the tears spill over I hang my head in my hands, keeping the sound of my sobs to myself. I needed his comfort, his warmth, I just needed . . . him. I quickly without looking turned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist, causing him to take a step back as he wraps his arms around my shoulders. We stood there for a while, not wanting to let go of one another since it had been so long since we were able to hug for this amount of time.

When I finally let go, I look up at him and was slightly surprised to see a few tear marks on his face. I reached up cupping his face in my hands as I wiped the few streaks from his face. I'm assuming I looked like a mess, puffy face, messed up hair, all that fun stuff. He leaned his face into my left hand. I decided now was the time to ask, "Did you miss it?" He looked at me confused for a second but then nodded his head slowly, "Every second of every day. I missed your laugh, I missed your jokes that only make you laugh, your blunt attitude when you're in a comfortable atmosphere. Everything." With that final word I press my lips against his, he didn't even flinch. He immediately kissed back, his hands easily finding themselves tangled in my messy hair as mine rested on his wrists. When we pulled back, I smiled "Best friend to the rescue." We both laughed as I slipped my hand into his, finishing off with those four simple words.

"I missed you too."