Divergence: Choices

Chapter 5

I watch Tris as she sit's the in chair, her face looks pained, her hands gripping the arms of the chair so tightly her knuckles are white.

She is being told to shoot her family members or be shot herself. They stand there, dressed in Abnegation grey, telling her to do it, that it is ok. She is resisting, willing to die herself in their place. I can't help but wonder what it feels like to be loved like that.

I swallow hard, knowing the choice is tearing her apart. I am sickened and stunned when she turns the gun on herself, pulling the trigger. I rip the transmitters off me, my breathing is intense and labored.

Tris comes out of the simulation, holding her head in her hands and breathing deeply. I watch her intently. "I knew the simulation wasn't real." My eyes roam to her hands and take  notice that her nail beds are bitten raw. Most likely from the nightmares.

"You don't have to explain it to me," I say as softly as I can. "You love your family, you don't want to shoot them. Not the most unreasonable thing in the world." I am hoping my words let her know that her actions in the simulation were not the actions of a Divergent.

"In the simulation is the only time I get to see them." Her eyes looking as though she betrayed Dauntless by speaking the words aloud. "I miss them. You ever just... miss your family?"

"No," I say as I look down. I don't miss my abusive father or my supposedly dead mother. "I don't. But that's unusual."

She nods and stands to leave, turning back towards me as she places her hand on the doorknob. She stares at me, her eyes hold mine, her gaze melts away my stern exterior. I realize I have been looking far too long, then again, she is looking back, and I feel like we are both trying to say something the other can't hear. I look even longer, too long-my heart pounds.

She parts her lips as if she is going to say something but changes her mind. I try to think of something I could say, something that would keep her here longer. The moment is gone though. She pushes the door open and walks out. I can breathe again.

I stand there frozen for a moment before I start cleaning up the simulation room. Why was she staring? What was she thinking? I shake my head trying to clear the thoughts. I close the door behind me I hopes to be able to find Lauren in the Pit to discuss the Dauntless borns simulations.

"Four, I need to speak with you." The voice sneers from behind me. I would know it anywhere, the voice that has burdened me since my arrival at Dauntless.

"Eric." I keep my voice uninterested and cold. He stands there staring at me, twisting his lip ring with a slight grin.

"Phase II is completed then?" I nod at him, it's information he already knows and not the reason he is here. He is making small talk.

"Good. The rankings will be posted later this evening. I already have them completed." I nod again, scratching my eyebrow.

"The Stiff did exceptionally well this phase." His words send a jolt of fear through my body. I force myself to stay calm, if he sees me react he will know.

I shrug and look at my fingernails as though I am not interested. "Doesn't surprise me."

"And why is that? She barely survived Phase I."

I roll my eyes, giving him the impression he should already know the answer. "She grew up in Abnegation. You live a lifestyle there that leaves very little room to be afraid of anything."

"She has fears. I've watched them myself."

He's watched them? That means he is watching her. I need to play this perfectly. I shake my head. "She is afraid of drowning, of crows, small things. Insignificant fears that are quickly overcome. She isn't brilliant or even good, just lucky of where she came from."

I watch him carefully examine my words. "Lucky like you?" There it is, he wants me to tell him it was only luck of why I outranked him. If it means keeping her safe, I'll play his game.

I shrug again. "I'm sure it's not a coincidence that the only two transfers in Dauntless history have the least amount of fears and the quickest times came from Abnegation."

Eric smiles greedily, he feels as though he has won. Finally. He nods in agreement. "I'll be curious to see how she does in Phase III."

He turns to walk away but stops within just a few feet. "Oh and Four? Try not to let anything else happen to her simulation data. It would be a shame to see someone so brave end up Factionless because of her instructors carelessness when it comes to maintaining equipment."

I flex my jaw and cross my arms, clenching onto my shirt to keep myself from doing something reckless. "Sure Eric." He narrows his eyes, I am positive he wants to make some smart ass comment about him being my leader. Instead he chooses to walk away for good.

I let out the breath I have been holding. His interest in Tris are nauseating, if he has watched her simulations it leaves her open to be discovered. If he suspects her simulation was purposely corrupted, I won't be able to use that excuse again.