ꜱᴀꜰᴇ

•21

this whole chapter is probably just gonna be a bunch of meanie fluff :)

"You're not going anywhere without me."
Arms closed around my waist, and I leaned into them. I sighed and took a sip of my coffee. I had barely eaten anything, not being able to force it down. Mingyu didn't eat much, either, and now he was standing behind me with his arms around me as I sat in a chair.
"I think that's strict." I played with my keys, listening to the jingle watching the exhaust of the cold coffee drip down the sides of the cup. "What if I wanna go somewhere with just Seungkwan?"
Mingyu scoffed. "As if Seungkwan will ever be alone now that he's with Vernon," he noted. "Where would you even go without me?"
I shrugged, taking another sip from the straw. "Maybe a gay club."
"You have no reason to be there." He growled under his breath. His arms left my waist, and he sat back down.
A small smirk found its way to my face. "I don't know," I mumbled. "Either way, that's why you wouldn't go with us. Because you wouldn't let me have fun."
"Why the hell would you try to 'have fun' when you have me?" Mingyu raised an eyebrow, trying to eat a little bit more.
"Maybe I want things that you can't provide-"
"Try me."
I giggled, watching his expression turn angry. "I'm kidding, babe, I wouldn't do that."
He shrugged. "You're right, though," he added, "I wouldn't let you have fun." He eyed my food, then looked up at me. "Are you going to eat anymore?"
Really, I had only taken a few bites. I looked down at my food, sighing outwardly. "I don't think I can."
"Can you try, please?" Mingyu stood up from the table, putting his plate in the sink. "I'm sure I'd feel better if I knew you ate more than that."
I eyed the food, trying to take a bite. I got it down, but it hurt my stomach when I ate it. It made me nauseated.
Mingyu frowned and tilted his head to the side, watching me grimace. "Wanna watch a movie?" I looked up at him. "We can just... Save that, and you can eat it later. You don't seem like you're enjoying it."
Nodding my head, I stood up from the table. I grabbed my coffee and made my way into the living room while Mingyu put my food in the refrigerator.
He walked in behind me and sat down on the couch. I sat sideways in his lap, my legs stretched out across the couch. I felt limp and emotional, but, at the same time, emotionless. I just wanted to be in his arms. I grabbed the TV remote.
"We can watch The Office," he suggested. His arms went around my waist. "That always cheers you up, right?"
I shrugged and pulled up Netflix. Opening my account, I scrolled through my list. The Office was one of the first shows to pop up, and I immediately clicked on it. Season 7, episode 16, had already been started, but I just restarted the episode and put down the remote. It's the episode about PDA, where Michael and Holly have to establish rules toward their own PDA because it makes everyone uncomfortable.
(a/n: i. am. a. geek. for this show.)
I'm busy giggling at Michael's camera-stares, and it takes me a while to notice Mingyu rubbing at my side. When I noticed, I looked over at him, and the look in his eyes was suggestive.
His lips latched onto mine, but I only kissed back for a small amount of time. I pulled away and looked at him, feeling bad about not wanting to be active.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I'm not really in the mood for this right now. Don't get me wrong, I love kissing you." I blushed and smiled a little bit. "But I don't really want to do this right now."
Mingyu pursed his lips. "It's fine," he assured. Then he sucked in a breath. "For the time being, though, either scoot off my lap a little bit or stop moving so much."
I blushed deeper and scooted off his lap, leaving my legs where they were. "S- Sorry."
The boy shrugged it off, but I felt a tent rising under my thigh. I pursed my lips and pretended like I didn't know that he was obviously aroused.
We simply watched the TV, my phone sitting upstairs in my room. Mingyu suggested that I leave it up there so Junhui couldn't bother me. Which was pointless, considering he was probably being held for questioning.
I eventually got bored, obviously. I sighed and rested my head against Mingyu's chest. The thing is that I know I don't want to leave his arms, but I also want to get up and do something.
"I'm bored," I let out. I laid my head back, my neck exposed and my hair falling away from my forehead.
Mingyu raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry."
Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked up at him. My hair fell back over my eyes. "That isn't the answer I wanted."
"What answer did you want?" he asked, laughing a little.
I shrugged. "I wanted for you to tell me something we could do. Maybe."
"You really think we're going anywhere after what happened today?" Mingyu scoffed, ruffling his own hair a little bit. "I don't want you being out today."
"And you really think you're the one that gets to decide that? Junhui is in jail, for goodness's sake, he can't get to me."
We made eye contact, and he seemed confused as to why I wasn't accepting his dominance and control.
"Correct me if I'm wrong," I continued, "but I am my own person, right? When it comes to my life, you only have an outward opinion on what I allow you to have an outward opinion on, Mingyu. You don't get to control the things I do just because you're my boyfriend."
"You need to learn that I'm in control here, actually," he explained. "I think you should listen to me. Just because Junhui is behind bars doesn't mean all criminals are."
I raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think you have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do?"
Mingyu pursed his lips. "I feel like I should have a say in what you do today, considering you were attacked. I'm here to protect you, aren't I? And-"
"Not only protect, Mingyu." I pulled my legs off of his lap, hugging them to my chest. "Support, love, cherish, mature, learn. We're here to protect each other-"
"Oh, really?" He scoffed again, looking at the TV. "How are you going to protect me when you can barely protect yourself?"
My heart broke. I knew I should have stopped, but he put me on a roll.
"Why the hell would you say that?" I looked at him in disbelief, wanting to cry. "You really think that? Excuse me, Mr. Controlling, but I can protect myself. It's not my fault that I deal with depression, child abuse, anorexia, dealt with schizophrenia that can be triggered back into action, anxiety, a drunk for a father, I barely remember my mother, and, apparently, I have an asshole for a boyfriend." He started to speak, but I held up my hand. "And don't go all pity on me." I stood up, looking at him. At this point, my voice was steadily rising in volume. "I guess I've been pitied too much, huh? I can't take care of myself, according to you. Yeah, I guess that's why my father started hitting me when I was 9. That sounds reasonable. I have so many bruises because I can't protect myself. I'm anorexic because I can't protect myself. I have depression because I can't protect myself." Feeling the tears start to fall, I bit down hard on my lip until I felt blood.
And, taking my dignity, I started walking, leaving him with one last thing:
"I fell in love with you because I can't protect myself."