ꜱᴀꜰᴇ

•14

"Wonwoo?"
I looked over to my left, meeting eyes with Joshua. He looked somewhat calm, the excited expression he usually had, had faded.
"Yes?" I responded, "Is something wrong?"
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out into the senior parking lot, considering it was the end of the day. Mingyu had stayed late to help decorate for the next play from the drama club.
Joshua and I ended up sitting on the roof of someone's car, making me worry.
"Josh-"
"It's okay," he interrupted, "this is my car." He sighed and looked down at the ground, and I noticed how badly he was fidgeting with his hands.
It really sparked something in me. "Are you okay, Shua?"
He looked up at me, and I saw tears in his eyes. "I- My family," he started, "we're a Christian family, Wonwoo. I haven't come out, yet."
"Oh," I mumbled. I felt as though I could relate to him on a high level, but our scenarios were pretty different as to why we hadn't come out yet.
Shifting uncomfortably, I watched a tear slide down his cheek. "I- I was just wondering if you could give me some tips or something."
I pursed my lips and wanted nothing more than to just hug him and tell him that he'd be okay, that it wouldn't be a big deal. But it is.
"Joshua, I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I haven't come out, either. I was actually going to do it tonight."
The boy's eyes widened a little bit, and he sat up straight, wiping at his eyes. "Oh, my God," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm stopping you from getting home to an important conversation, I'll just talk to Soonyoung-"
"No." I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and I could feel him easily melt into my touch. "I'm fine here, my dad can wait."
Joshua sniffled, wiping at his eyes. "I don't want to bother you."
"You aren't," I told him, "I promise."
The smaller boy continued sniffling, and I noticed Mingyu walking out of the building. He looked around, for I don't know what, then spotted me on top of Joshua's car with the boy in my arms. A flash of obvious jealousy etched onto his features, but more concern was laced with it. I waved him off, mouthing at him to not worry about it. He gave me a confused look, but nonetheless, walked away and toward his car.
I smiled, tugging at Joshua to get his attention. He looked up at me, eyes a little puffy.
"I have an idea," I told him. "How about I get Mingyu to get all his friends, and we can get ours, and meet up somewhere after you and I come out?" I gave him a small smile, dropping my arm off of his shoulders and back to rest on the car. "That way, we'll both have a way to escape. We can all go to my house afterward, maybe skip tomorrow. I'm sure my dad would be fine with it." That was a lie. I didn't expect my dad to allow friends over no matter the occasion.
A sparkle flashed through Joshua's eyes, and he smiled a little bit. "Do you think they'd be willing to go?"
I nodded. "For you, of course." I winked at him and gave him a little shove. "Plus, it'll give you time to catch up with Jeonghan and make him want you."
"Oh, yeah," he recalled, blushing a bit. "I was gonna ask you, how did that go?"
I smiled widely, yet not knowing if I wanted to ruin anything for him.
Whatever.
"He thinks you're gorgeous," I told him. "Seungcheol said they'd talk about the whole 'love triangle' thing, then they'd be in touch with you."
His eyes sparkled, making me happy. Seeing him happy made me happy.
Looking out over the cars, he cocked his head to the side. "Should I go for it?"
I smiled again, knowing this would be a great opportunity. "Of course, you should."

~~

"I'm in the living room."
My father had a grim voice, not necessarily the one that he had this morning. It made me shiver as I laid my backpack down on the floor next to the kitchen table.
I stuffed my phone into my back pocket when I felt it vibrate, not wanting to really text anyone at the moment.
"You don't want me to do my chores first?" I asked, walking into the living room.
My father shrugged, motioning for me to sit down in a chair across from him. "They can wait," he said, "this seems to be important."
Nodding, I sat down in the chair. I sat on my hands, not wanting to show my fidgeting weakness, as I knew my father didn't like that. My breath hitched when we made eye contact, and I really just wanted to leave the room.
"Dad," I mumbled.
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, locking his hands. "Yes?"
"I really need to tell you something-"
"That's why we're here."
I took a deep breath, clicking my tongue. "I guess you're right." I was greatly second guessing my decisions at the moment, wanting nothing more than to just talk to Mingyu instead of my father. My breath hitched when I first decided to let it out, causing me to stop. Then I realized it was time to tell him, time to stop stalling.
"I'm gay."
My father seemed to stop breathing, pausing momentarily to take in the new information. It made me shiver, made me tense up and prepare for the blow up that was bound to happen.
But it never came.
I even counted the seconds going by, hoping the impact or volume would be small. But there wasn't anything at all. It was a deafening silence, one that had me on edge the whole time. My father kept his eyes on me, which made the situation even more uncomfortable. I just wanted him to look away, I wanted him to simply give in and not care about my sexuality. I wanted him to accept it and be the father that I've wanted since I was ten.
After what seemed like hours, he leaned back and took a long breath in, then let an even longer one out. It made me want to leave the room even more than I did before because he seemed to be sucking in air to yell at me.
"Wonwoo," he said after a few seconds, "you know... I'm obviously not very good at expressing my emotions." I laughed a little bit at that, earning a glare from him that shut me up. "And I wish I could change that, but it would take a lot of work, and I'm just not the kind of man to express my emotions. Ever since your mother and I got married, I just kind of let go, which was obviously a huge mistake." My father mentioning my mother, which was something he never did, made me take a sharp inhale, tensing up a bit. "Aside from that, though," he said lowly, "I don't care who you like. It's you, it's your decision. I guess you're old enough to know where you stand and to know that it isn't just a small phase." He rubbed a hand over his patchy, shadow facial hair. "It's not my job to tell you who to love. Just because male to female is my preference doesn't mean anything else isn't accepted."
By then, my eyes had gone wide. I had honestly expected him to blow up completely. But he hadn't.
When he remained silent, all I could do was smile.
"Thank you," I mumbled.
At that moment, I could see the faintest smile on his face, which is something I rarely see. Once a month at the most.
He sat up back in the position where his elbows were on his knees, making eye contact with me.
"Y- You can skip your chores," he mentioned. "I assume this took a lot of guts, so I'm sure you're kind of shaken up."
I had the sudden urge to hug him, something that hadn't taken place in this house for a while. A while as in years. My father and I don't really express our emotions toward each other. It makes him angry, as I said before.
Nodding, I stood up and quietly stepped out of the living room. As I was heading up the stairs, something sprung my memory, and I turned back to my father who was now in the kitchen.
"Hey, Dad?"
"Yes?"
I stepped down to the bottom stair, peeking my head around the corner to see that he was standing in front of the cabinets, maybe to make some food.
"Can I go out with some friends later?" I asked, tapping my fingers lightly on the wall.
The man shrugged, not seeming to mind. "Sure, you're 17, do what you want."
Smiling, I pursed my lips to prepare for the next question.
"Can they come over here afterward and spend the night?"
Another faint smile laced his lips, and he turned to me. "I don't care," he mumbled, the smile rising a little bit. I could tell he was trying to keep it down, but the emotion just nipped at the corners of his lips. "As long as you're keeping your grades up."
"I promise." I smiled widely and ran back up the stairs, crashing into my room. I fell back on my bed, grabbing my phone from my back pocket.
I was obviously very happy, and it wouldn't take an idiot to find that out considering my beaming smile that rarely appeared.