ꜱᴀꜰᴇ

•10

warning: abuse; physical & verbal, self-shaming, slightly mature content.

"Wonwoo!"
Shit.
Mingyu was laying next to me with his arms around me, but his head shot up just as mine did when we heard my father.
"He's home," I mumbled. "Oh, my God."
We both stood up, looking around to find somewhere to hide.
I grabbed his wrist. "Hide in the closet," I whispered to him.
Mingyu looked at me like I was stupid. "I'm a gay guy, and you want me to hide in the closet?"
Trying to hold back my laugh, I opened my closet door and pushed Mingyu into it. He started to open his mouth, but I shushed him and went to my door.
"Wonwoo!"
"Yes, sir?" I responded, opening my door and standing at the top of the stairs.
My father crossed his arms. "Why did it take you so long to respond?"
"I was reading a book," I told him.
"Oh, is that so?" my father went on. He raised an eyebrow. "Then why didn't you put the damn book down and come to the stairs?"
I pursed my lips and lightly clenched my fists. "I- I'm sorry-"
"Get your ass down here."
My stomach dropped to Hell, and I wanted to melt right there and just slowly droop down the stairs. I really didn't want to get beaten while Mingyu was here. I knew he'd want to do something, he'd want to make his presence known. And I can't have that, it would make everything worse.
Slowly walking down the stairs, I kept my eyes locked with my father's because I knew he thought it was disrespectful when I didn't make eye contact with him. I stood in front of him and tensed up greatly, sensing that he was in a worse mood than he normally is.
"Dad-"
"Shut the hell up."
"I have a question."
My dad pursed his lips and clenched his fists, obviously wanting to yell at me and hit me. But he nodded for me to continue.
"Am I allowed to have any friends over?"
The man scoffed. "As if you have any."
I was only half surprised that he said that, and it only half hurt me. He doesn't ever really fire insults at me besides ugly names.
"But what if I do?"
"Only with my permission, can they come over."
I nodded and pursed my lips, knowing that nothing was gonna sidetrack him from his previous plan.
"What did you make for dinner?"
My eyes went wide, and I panicked. "Leftovers?"
The man put on a cocky smirk. "Didn't I tell you to make dinner?"
"No, sir, you never do-"
A clenched fist. But to my cheekbone.
I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my tongue because my father hates it when I show emotion and pain.
"You dumbass, with your bandage around your nose, don't talk back to me," he scolded. "Did you do your chores?"
Again, my eyes went wide, and I shook my head. "I had to do homework-"
A push up against the wall.
My father kneeled down as I restrained from rubbing the aching pain radiating off of my shoulders and back. He grabbed my hoodie collar and pulled me up, slamming me back against the wall. His hand wrapped as tightly around my throat as I had ever felt it, and he stared me in the eyes, restricting my air circulation.
"You better get your ass upstairs before I can even blink," he said in a low husky voice. "You aren't eating dinner tonight."
He let go, and I quickly started to run upstairs while trying to catch my breath.
But before I could close the door, my father scoffed and said,
"As if you even need it, flabby."
I pursed my lips and rushed into my room, slamming the door and locking it. I slid down the back of it until I was sitting on the floor with my knees pulled to my chest and my face in my hands.
As soon as I felt a tear roll down my cheek, I felt a warm presence next to me, and I hoped to God it was Mingyu and not some stranger. But at the moment, I didn't care. I just needed someone.
Long arms wrapped around me, and I was being pulled into Mingyu's lap. He wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed my forehead, then let me cry into his shoulder. The smalls hiccups soon turned into ugly sobs as I kept thinking of what my father had said.
"H- He- He-"
"I know." Mingyu rubbed my back and pulled me as close as he possibly could. He was warm, probably from being closed into my closet. "You don't have to tell me, I heard."
My sobs only progressed, making me struggle to catch a breath. Mingyu kind of panicked and moved my face away from his neck, running his hand through my hair.
"Calm down, Won," he whispered. He pecked me on the lips, stifling my cries for a simple three seconds at the most. But it didn't really help at all.
So before I could even say anything, I felt Mingyu's lips on my own, and they were warm just like the rest of his body. Our total opposite lips somehow slipped together perfectly. It turned into a passionate, slow, and short kind of make-out session. Then he eventually pulled away, leaving me with steady breathing and only a few tears still falling.
I looked him in the eyes. "W- Why did y- you do that?"
"I heard that kiss can stop a panic attack," he whispered, shrugging a little. "It forces you to even out your breathing." ((SHOUTOUT TO ALL THE OTHER TEEN WOLF FANS SSIXJJDNDJ I LOWKEY STOLE ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES))
Pursing my lips, I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled my back to his chest with his arms around my waist.
"It's a lot worse than I thought it was," he mumbled.
I sniffled and nodded. "He rarely says things to hurt me," I told him. "It normally just names like 'little bitch, dumbass, fag'. You know, basics. But he rarely ever says anything about how I look; I cry every time he does."
"I'm sorry," he whispered. He rubbed my back. "Let me talk to him-"
"No," I interrupted. "I don't want him to know about you. Maybe in the far future. He just doesn't know I'm gay, and I want to keep it that way." I sighed. "But thank you for staying out of it just now, it would have made it worse."
Mingyu shook his head and sighed. "I want him to stop-"
"Listen to me." I pulled away from his neck and looked at him in the eyes. "He isn't gonna stop, and you have to accept that. The only way he would stop is if he were arrested, and I don't want to ever call the cops on him. I will if he gets too physical, but for now, I'm fine. It's minor physical damage. It's a little harder on the emotional damage, but I'll manage. I'm gonna be fine, you don't have to worry about me, okay?"
"Wonwoo," he said sternly, "I promised to keep you safe, and that's what I'm going to do. Do you understand me?"
I shook my head. "You can keep me safe in any scenario except for the ones that involve my father. Do you understand me?"
"You aren't listening," Mingyu continued pressing on. "I want to protect you-"
"Stop it." I moved, out of his lap. "You need to understand that you can't help me in this situation. If my dad finds out that there is another male protecting me, everything will get worse. He'll call me more names. The abuse will get worse." I sighed and leaned against the door, clasping my hands together as I was growing suddenly cold. "You need to listen to me, please. You can't interfere with this. You will make it worse by trying to help. It's not that I don't appreciate your effort... You just don't understand that this is a battle that is not going to end."
Mingyu looked at me expressionlessly, then looked down at my carpeted floor. "I- I'm sorry I can't do anything," he mumbled. "You mean a lot to me, you really do, and I want to protect but-"
"You can't."
He looked up at me and pursed his lips, eyes looking a bit watery. He moved closer to me, but I fidgeted a little bit and shrunk back.
"Please, don't touch me," I whispered. "I don't feel like being cuddly, I'm sorry."
Mingyu shook his head. "No, it's okay, you have a reason." He sat there and just kind of studied my face, while I did the same to him.
It's that weird silence that isn't necessarily a bad suffocation, but it's more like it's needed. Like you needed that silence to think things through. It's a good silence.
After a while, I shivered and broke our eye contact. I stood up slowly and pursed my lips.
"I'm gonna go take a shower," I told him. "You can just chill in here."
He stood up, also. "I'm fine, I actually need to start getting home-"
"No." I looked into his eyes and just mentally pleaded to him. "Don't go. I want you to stay tonight."
All he did was stand there and look back at me, but this silence was suffocating.
"Okay," he mumbled. "I'll stay."
Nodding, I walked over to my dresser and opened one of the drawers that contained all of my pajamas. I pulled out some black sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and some boxers. I pursed my lips and quietly walked into the bathroom, closing the door.
Then I laughed at myself and opened it back up, poking my head out at Mingyu who was standing awkwardly.
"You can... Lay down and watch Netflix, or something," I told him. "I don't really care. But if my dad comes to the door, don't answer it. Just like... Hide in the closet again, or come in here."
His eyes narrowed. "I don't wanna go in there while you're naked."
"Don't lie, that's the first thing you wanna see before you die."
He scoffed and nodded, going to sit down on my bed as I closed the door.
I laughed a little and closed the door again, leaving it unlocked. I heard Mingyu press play on the episode of The Office that was on the screen, resuming to where I left off.
Sighing, I pulled my hoodie off and tried to keep my eyes off the mirror as I threw it to the floor. But that never works, you know?
I looked up at the mirror, meeting dark eyes with myself. My focus trailed down my body; noting the bruise on my cheek, the deathly hand mark around my neck. I turned to an angle where I could see the bruises on my shoulder blades from being thrown against the wall. Then my eyes trailed down more, looking at my waist and stomach.
Most people would call someone as thin as me "skinny", but I really don't see it. I know I'm too thin to be healthy, I have a conscience that tells me that. But I ignore everything. I just don't eat.
My eyes started to well up a bit, but I heard Mingyu in my room, his pretty laugh sounding through my room because of the TV show. My lips spread into a smile, blinking the tears away and turning from the mirror. I turned the water on, preferably colder than most people would like, and got fully undressed. Stepping in, I sighed as the water hit my bruised back.
And I know they say hot showers and hot packs help the pain, but I can't relate. I've always like hot showers, so hot that they were painful, until I was about fifteen. Then, I started to like my showers on the colder side, but still with a warm presence smoking up the shower doors. Plus, cold water is good for your hair, but hot water makes your skin swell, which makes your pores look bigger.
I dropped my head, letting the water roll down my back and my face. I sighed and tried to keep my breathing steady, images of Mingyu popping up into my head. I smiled and stepped away from the water, slicking my hair back.
"He's really something," I mumbled to myself. "He's really something."
Sighing again, I turned to the door of the shower and drew a big heart in the fog. I get it, I'm seventeen, not twelve. Don't come at me.
I rolled my eyes at myself and erased the heart, getting back to my shower.

~~

Sliding on my t-shirt, I ruffled my hair that was slightly dripping at the ends. I sighed contently and opened the door, looking around. The room was completely dark except for the TV and my fairy lights. But to my dismay, Mingyu wasn't on my bed. The TV was still playing, and the door was still closed and locked.
I stepped out of the bathroom, my eyebrows knitted. Looking around, I still didn't see any sign of Mingyu leaving. My window was closed, and you can't lock the door from the outside. To be honest, my eyes started to tear up a little bit as I questioned why he would have left.
"Mingyu?" I called quietly, not wanting my father to hear. I turned around, seeing that my closet door was open. It would be stupid to hide in an open closet, so I ruled that possibility out.
Rolling my eyes, I walked toward the TV and reached to turn it off, mumbling, "Asshole."
Before I could even press the button, long arms wrapped around my abdomen and pulled me backward onto my bed. I gasped loudly and tried not to scream, turning around swiftly to see who had grabbed me.
My eyes narrowed at clear brown ones, slapping the man's arm.
"Mingyu, you ass!" I tore at his arms, pulling myself from his grasp and standing up. "I thought you left!"
He stood up, covering his mouth to contain his laughter. "I'm sorry!" he pleaded in between laughs. "There was no way I could miss out on that chance to scare you, it was perfect timing."
I wasn't laughing at all. "Do you know how many murder scenes happen like that in movies? What the hell is your problem?!"
Mingyu kind of jumped at my words, his laughter dying down a bit. "Don't be mad-"
"Really? Don't be mad? Was today really the day to scare me, when I'm vulnerable? Did you even think about the-"
He came towards me, wrapping his arms back around my waist. "Hey," he said softly, "don't be like that. I'm sorry."
It was silent in the room except for Dwight's screaming coming from the TV. Mingyu is slighter taller than me, so he was blocking me from the fairy lights. But they created some kind of aura around his skin that made him glow. His back hair looked softer than ever, laying effortlessly against his forehead and almost covering his eyes. He looked beautiful.
I stared into his eyes and pursed my lips, not really knowing what to do with a man so beautiful.
Without any other context, I smiled. "Let's skip tomorrow."
"Agreed."
Mingyu smashed his lips onto mine, placing his hands on either side of my face. With little hesitation, I kissed him back and started to push him back against the wall. I felt him smirk against my lips and switch our positions, pushing my back to the wall.
It did hurt a bit, considering my bruises, but I ignored it.
Our lips picked up, moving at a picker pace, but not hungry. Mingyu's hand moved from my face, sliding down my sides and stopping at my hips. He kept me pinned to the wall, and I can't say that didn't turn me on.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to give him no choice but to deepen the kiss. His tongue poked at my lips, and I denied his entry. Then I felt him pinch my left side, making me gasp, where he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into my open mouth.
He smirked into the kiss, knowing he won. His tongue explored my mouth, meeting with mine.
I pulled away from him to catch my breath, a smile etching onto my face. "We do this way too often, don't you think?" I teased, out of breath.
"Give or take a little," he responded. He smirked down at me and pulled me back, pushing me onto the bed.
Furrowing my eyebrows, I watched as he hovered over me and pressed our lips back together. I kissed him back momentarily, but pressed my hands to his chest in an attempt to push him away. He felt my attempts and stopped kissing me, sitting up and apologizing over and over.
"I- I'm sorry, I forgot, y- your-"
"Shut up," I told him. I chuckled and reached over to my nightstand. I grabbed the TV remote, turning the TV off. "You're too worried about me."
He shrugged, the fairy lights the only light in the room. "I try."
"You aren't gonna hurt me, it's okay," I mumbled. I playfully hit his chest. "Go take a shower."
Throwing his hands up in defense, he got off of me. "I would have if you let me go home," he said, "but I don't have clothes."
"You can use some of mine, asshole." I motioned to the closet as he rolled his eyes and opened the closet door.
"What about boxers?" he questioned. "My dick is bigger than yours."
My eyes went wide, and I tried to keep myself from blushing even though it wouldn't be very visible in the dark room. "Are boxers even based off of dick size?"
"If they are, then yours won't fit."
I rolled my eyes. "Just shut the hell up and use mine, you brat."

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3000+
;)))