ꜱᴀꜰᴇ

•1

wonwoo's pov.

warning: talk of mental illnesses.

present day.

School. I hate it. Moving. I hate it. Life...
What's the point? School teaches us unnecessary things every single day. Things we already know. Look, I get it, I wouldn't know basic, everyday topics if it weren't for school. I wouldn't be able to read if it weren't for school. But believe me, I could teach myself. To be honest, I learn enough from reading.
Really, I hate everything about school. Especially when I'm the new kid. This isn't the first time. With my dad's job, we move a lot. My father is just an angry rich man. He never smiles unless it's a cocky smile pointed at me, knowing he's about to hit me.
Anyways, back to the point, I hate moving. I hate being the new kid. I hate school. I hate life in general. There's nothing to be happy about anymore. I've... I've been diagnosed with so many things. Depression, severe anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, OCD, ADD, I'm suicidal, and I have had schizophrenia since the age of 14, but two years of treatment helped calm it down. It can be triggered, however, and is likely to come back during a traumatic experience. And I'm gay. My dad doesn't know, though. Obviously, as a human being, I have a few self-diagnosed illnesses, too.
Thalassophobia, a severe fear of what lies in the ocean. Agoraphobia, the fear of crowded places, which causes me to hate leaving home. Claustrophobia, the fear of tight spaces. Glossophobia, the fear of giving public speeches. Autophobia, the fear of being abandoned by someone. Gamophobia, the fear of committing to someone. And many more, but it'd take forever to list them all.
When I was a kid, my mom left us due to my father's behavior. I just wish she would have taken me with her. I bet she's doing well. I don't resent her for leaving me. In all honesty, I only wish her the best, and I hope she's thriving in life, work, and... Family. I hope she's moved on from the pain my father caused. But I also hope that she hasn't forgotten me.
Blah blah, my dad... He hasn't changed. He's abusive. He's always angry. He doesn't care. I don't know why, I never did anything to him. Was it me being born that upset him so much? I bet he was happy before my birth.
Anyways, back to what I was talking about. School. Today is my first day at my new school. I'm hoping no one will talk to me, and I can just silently read through all my classes. Right now, I'm reading Two by Two by Nicholas Sparks. It's a love story. Unfortunately.
Really, when my father told me that we were moving again, I cried. I ran up to my bedroom, cuddled up in my bed, and cried. I'm not ready for this. I don't want this. Not again.
Because of that, when my dad woke me up this morning to get ready for school, I laid in bed for ten minutes before getting up. I really didn't want to get up. However, I knew I'd get hit if I didn't. So I got up, very groggily, and brushed my teeth. Did I eat breakfast? No. I don't eat much. You probably figured that... I threw on a white hoodie and light blue jeans with rips on the knees. I put on white converse, ruffling my hair a bit in the mirror before sighing contently. I put my book and other supplies in my backpack, throwing it over my shoulder and looping my arms through the straps.
"Wonwoo!" I rolled my eyes at the voice calling my name from downstairs. "Get down here, you're gonna miss the bus!"
Walking down the stairs, I walked past my dad, smiling a little bit as I looked at him. "It isn't very far," I told him. "I'll just walk."
"If you want," he said. "Be careful."
I nodded and opened the front door, walking outside. I closed the door, shaking my head at the cold air. Really, sometimes, my dad can be a decent human being. It's just after his dose of alcohol... Not so much.
Down the driveway, a light fog hung over the road. It was pretty. The light blue sky, the sun shining ever so gently. I like this. It's just unfortunate that I'm going to school. It's a perfect day to just sit at home and read. But al days are good for that.
Really, my school was pretty close. I walked about 1/8 of a mile, and I could already see the dreaded school coming into view. Sighing, I kept walking, putting my hands in the pocket of my hoodie. Kids were getting out of buses, others were walking in from other directions. I already hated it. For no reason. Because I'm predictable, we all knew I was gonna hate it.
A kid with bright red hair really stood out, obviously. He was wearing a black sweater and black jeans, with, you guessed it, black shoes. Nikes. Style.
He seemed nice, but I have social anxiety. My plan was to ask him to help me get to my classes but-
While I was watching him walk inside, I tripped over a non-existent curb. That's code for "I tripped over air". I felt eyes on me, and I sighed. I got up, dusting my hands on my jeans and ruffling my hair a bit. To my surprise, the redhead was standing in front of me.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Pulling my sleeves over my hands and balling them into fists, I looked down at my feet. I nodded a little and looked back up at him, though he was a bit shorter than me. "I'm fine, thank you."
"Are you new here?" he pointed out. "I haven't seen you. Ever."
I nodded again, looking around to see that the students had carried on with their days after seeing me fall. "Yeah, I just moved here last week."
The kid smiled. "Nice," he said. "You'll hate it here." He chuckled a little bit, causing me to smile. Kind of a rare occasion. "My name is Soonyoung." He held out his hand.
Taking his hand and shaking it awkwardly, I smiled at him. "I'm Wonwoo."
"Nice name," he teased. I rolled my eyes, and he shook his head. "I'm only playing."
"I just get enough of that from myself," I told him. His expression was curious for a second, but he only laughed it off, knowing there was something deeper to the statement.
Soonyoung shrugged and cleared his throat. "Well, do you need help with anything? I'd be honored to help you."
"Uh- Yeah, actually," I stuttered, pulling my schedule out of my backpack. "Can you help me find my classes? My first one is science with Mrs. Park...?"
The boy nodded and smiled. "It's right next to my first-period class," he said. "But we should get going, the bell is going to ring soon."
Soonyoung began to walk into the school building, and I followed him, putting my schedule back in my backpack. I stayed behind him as he climbed a flight of stairs and set down the hallway to the left, taking mental notes.
The school looked like an ordinary school. Hell.
When we got to a certain classroom, in particular, Soonyoung stopped and turned to me. "This is your class, " he said. I looked into the classroom, seeing a bunch of kids talking to each other. One, I heard, saying that she only got thirty likes on Instagram. I sighed and rubbed my temples.
"I hate school," I grumbled.
"Ahh, Mrs. Park is nice," Soonyoung reassured. "You're lucky she's your first period."
I scoffed. "What about the other kids, though?"
"Not so much," he said. I rolled my eyes, and he laughed, waving to me. "Good luck."
I gave him a sarcastic smile and watched as he went into his own first period. Sighing, I took a step into the classroom. A few heads turned to me, not much. Not so bad. Then, of course-
"CLaSs!"
I flinched big time, tripping over that non-existent curb, and falling again. All heads turned to me, and I sighed, getting up.
The lady at the front of the classroom gave me a look of pity. "I'm sorry, dear," she said. "Are you okay?"
Nodding, I smiled gently at her and went to find a seat, but she stopped me.
"Are you a new student?"
I stopped in my place and turned to Mrs. Park, nodding. "Y-Yes, ma'am."
She smiled at me. "Please, come introduce yourself."
Cursing internally at life in general, I walked up to the front of the classroom with my head down. I sighed and looked up, waving a little bit.
"Hi, I-I'm Jeon Wonwoo," I said, earning a few giggles. I rolled my eyes. "I just moved here from Gwanju, but I'm originally from Changwon-"
"Get on with it..?"
"Coups, shut the hell up and let the boy speak."
"Class, enoUGH."
Rolling my eyes, I looked up, meeting glances with dark eyes. The boy was giving me an apologetic look. I'm guessing he was the one who stood up for me. I scoffed a little and went to take my seat, which happened to be in the front. Of course.
Mrs. Park nodded to me and smiled. "Thank you, Wonwoo, I hope you enjoy your time here," she said. I smiled back at her.
But you all know good and well that all I could think about was that boy. His eyes, they looked like they could kill, but you could see the kindness in them. His skin was so tan, so smooth-looking. And his hair matched his eyes beautifully-

Bitch. I'm gay.

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nO