quiet ➫ yoongi-centric

0.9

Yoongi watches as Taehyung and Jungkook feed each other, having lost his appetite.

He doesn't have anything against Taehyung, in fact, he loves him just as much as he loves Jungkook. He looks at them like his baby brothers- which they are- yet the feeling of being unwanted lingers. In a way, he muses, it's his own flaws that get him into these situations, if he were a little nicer, a little more caring, a little more diplomatic, a little more of approachable then maybe, even he could have been part of their conversation. If only he was a little less of the person he was.

"...and then she asked me if I knew where her boyfriend was hiding and there he was, in all his 5-foot-6 glory, squatting under the table, begging me to keep quiet."

The boys burst into another round of laughter, as Yoongi subtly pushed his plate towards the pair; both of whom paid no heed. They had seven members in total, someone was bound to be alone. Isolated, from the rest of the pairs, and judging from his personality- Yoongi was the isolated one. Or at least it seemed like that too him.

He knew the others tried, tried really hard to include him too. Interacting with him constantly around cameras and away from them. They'd always look out for him but he'd never let down his walls, never remove his mask to show them his true, raw self. Simply because he'd grown so reliant on this identity that he had created for himself, always controlling how he truly felt, adding a filter to his words, what he said and did were calculated moves and he'd grown so comfortable with it; that now even he couldn't break down the walls he'd built up, desolation was his only company. And he had no one else to blame except for himself.

He mumbled out an excuse about going to pay the bill, only getting nods in return.

He slipped out his chair, his hands digging into his back pocket. His eyes were trained on the marble floor as he made his way to the counter. The employee sat behind the desk, lazying looking at his phone with a hint of a smile on his face. Yoongi's tired eyes locked with the bored one of the other's, immediately beginning to draw out a bill. Yoongi took out his wallet as his eyes wandered around in search of the old lady.

"She's gone."

Yoongi's eyes snapped back at the man behind the counter, making sure he was the one being spoken to before replying.

"um, excuse me?"

"If you are looking for the old lady or if you knew her personally, Eun Jung, then she's gone."

"What do you mean by...gone?"

"Her son asked her to move in with her, she's getting old. I'm his cousin."

"Oh"

The man placed a bill in front of him as Yoongi slowly took out the money. He was surprised, to say the least, she looked so happy here. She was healthy too, talked all about her son and his new wife and how happy and proud she felt. She talked about how well the business was doing, she always seemed so radiant that Yoongi found it hard to believe that she just packed up her bags and left. She seemed to have just drifted away, float away with the wind. Perhaps what made it even harder to believe was that she always seemed so much within reach, just a few centimeters that Yoongi hadn't even noticed the distance grow. It wasn't until that very moment that Yoongi actually realized the frequency of his visits kept decreasing. The last night he stepped foot here was about two months ago when he couldn't think of any lyrics for the album. It wasn't like he knew her too well or that they met up often accept when he needed a break, she would talk to fill up the silence.

Yet a crushing sense of numbness overtook him, and suddenly it wasn't just about that old lady. A suffocating sort of heaviness settled on his chest, still, he couldn't feel anything. His feet carried him back to the table, where Taehyung and Jungkook were now standing.