Phan oneshots

Our scars

Warnings: Mentions of abuse
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My heart was beating heavily in my chest. With shaking hands, I got up and walked over to the door. I hesitated with my hand over the doorknob. You got this. You can do this. Firming my lips I swung the door open. Phil was standing there, looking more relaxed than he had when he had left Starbucks. He wasn't looking around nervously, but that wasn't to say he didn't look nervous. His hands were fidgeting with the bottom of his coat and his smile looked rather weak. It wavered as it swept over my face, looking at the still dark and purple bruises.

Not quite sure what to do, I opened the door and stepped to the side, gesturing for him to come in. He muttered a small "thanks" and took his coat off. I took it and put it on the back of one of the chairs. There was an awkward silence and I stared at my feet. Should I say something? I mean, he's the one who told me to send him directions but maybe he's waiting for-

"I know I have some explaining to do," he said quietly. I looked up from the floor. "but also some apologizing."

"Apologize for-?"

"But first," he said interrupting me, "let's go somewhere comfortable. This is going to take awhile."

I nodded and led him to the couch. "One second," I said, and walked quickly to Pj's room. I opened it a crack and peered in. He was sitting at his computer, concentrated on whatever was on the screen. "Peej?" He turned to face me. "Would you mind not going near us for awhile? I feel like Phil might not want to talk if you're around to hear." I chuckled apologetically.

Pj nodded. "No it's fine, I'll steer clear for awhile."

I nodded and closed the door behind me. Walking back to where Phil was, I prepared myself for whatever he was going to say. I sat down next to him, waiting for him to sort out his thoughts. His eyes were darting back and forth, as if they couldn't decide between two things. Finally, he cleared his throat and sat up a bit taller.

"So.. uhm.. where to begin.." he chuckled nervously. "I don't even know where to begin. And just so you know.. I may at some point try to leave.. my brain is telling me not to tell you but my heart knows I should. So if I try, just grab my arm or something." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I gave what I hoped was an encouraging smile.

"I'll start from the beginning. A long time ago, about a year, I met a guy at university. He was kind and sweet, and we became good friends very quickly. We spent more and more time together, until we both realized we had developed feelings toward each other." I kept my face neutral, but really was freaking out that Phil was gay. "Both knowing of the others feelings, we started dating." Phil glanced up at me, but I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "R-right, well.. after that, everything was fine. He moved into my flat. We were in love, we were happy, blah blah blah. But as time went on I found myself drawing away from him. Losing the connection, the spark we first had. I told him this and that maybe we weren't meant to be." My mind flashed to the similar thing Pj had said about me and Phil. "He.. didn't take it well. At all. That's when it started."

"When what started?"

He stood up suddenly and, thinking he was going to leave, I grabbed his wrist. I knew my eyes were full of fear. "Phil please don't leave. I promise whatever it is I-"

"No, follow me," he said, grabbing my wrist and forming a weird grip.

Confused I rose to my feet and followed him. He took me into the kitchen and turned on the water. He started splashing water onto his face and gently massaging it. Was he trying to clear his mind or something? Sometimes people do that to refresh-