Constance thought she could finally stop looking over her shoulder. She has a steady job as a hairstylist, rents a small apartment next door to her best friend, and keeps a routine that distracts her just enough to not have to dwell on her past.
All...
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"She's beautiful!" I squeal as I examine my tank.
After we left from Handles house, I got home just in time to unwrap my gift to myself. . .and by unwrap I mean attempt to drive it off the platform while Nick gives unhelpful suggestions. It only took me an hour of playing to get the darn thing to move but what I thought was the button to swivel the cannon for a better view was the button to fire the cannon and I shot right through Nate's car.
Oops.
A miniature explosion blows random car parts all down the driveway. One tire rolls past us down to the gate and hits it with a thud.
"That was beautiful." Nick raised his fist in the air for me to bump. "I can't wait to see his reaction."
I punch his arm instead of his fist but that only succeeded in making him laugh. Of course the explosion was amazing, in fact, I want to do it again but not to my friends things.
"Why not just wait until we get to Florida before trying out your new toy? Can you imagine how hard it's going to be to get this thing back on the truck, that is if you ever manage to get it off first. Plus, those bullets are not cheap nor easy to load. I almost threw my back out when GI Joe and I put one in." He grimaces.
Nick might not have enjoyed loading the barrel but I sure did enjoy watching him complain the whole time. He thinks he's funny when he's trying but he is actually funny when he's mad.
"You may have a valid point."
Neither of us move for a while, instead we shift into a heavy but comfortable silence. We are supposed to drive a bigrig to Florida (because driving the tank itself would give away the surprise) and come tomorrow evening, I will be face to face with Eli.
"Can I tell you something?" I ask, pulling Nick out of his thoughts.
"Always."
I take a deep breath. "I really thought that I loved him. W-we watched each other being abused and I think because he was the first guy I was intimate with, I thought that meant love."
"Does Luca know he was your first?" He asks without a hint of awkwardness.
I smile but it's out of sadness. "Not Luca. Eli was my first and now that I'm about to face him again after so long, I'm scared."
"Because you still love him?"
I laugh internally. At one point in my life, I truly believed that Eli and I were something special. When no one loved me as that broken little girl, he was there. When I was used by Abasi and then tossed in a cell, Eli was there to give me food and support. He was my everything when I literally had nothing. Now, though, I know what love feels like. Michael gave me a family. He held me when I cried myself to sleep and loved me when I didn't even love myself. I thought I needed a man to save me and I did; Michael saved me. He made it possible for me to open myself up to a different type of love. Now that I have both kinds, I'm never giving it up.
