inspirational Words

Knowing

I'd rather know things, then to not. I'd rather be blinded by the light, then left in the dark that I can't see in. I'd rather be able to know what to worry about, and how much to, then to be worried about something that I'm not sure how much I should.

I'm the youngest of my family. The baby, if you will. For that reason, I'm left in the dark more. T does get annoying a lot of the time. Even if what I may be told would hurt me, I'd rather know.

Today, my sister asked me to text my friend and see if she answered. Or my mom told me that my sister wanted me too. No context. I didn't know why they wanted me to, so I just did. I got concerned, and it's better to be safe then sorry.

I text my friend, and she FaceTime me. We talk. I tell her about my sister asking me to text her. She gets confused to. So I text my mom back, asking her why. But she wouldn't tell me. Said it didn't concern my friend, even though I was asked to text her to make sure she answered.

I get really angry at my mom, and I start getting really stressed and anxious. I didn't know why she wanted me to text my friend, so now I'm scared. What happened? How big is, and why'd my sister want to know? It's bull that they tried to hide it. I kinda understand WHY they did, but I'd rather know.

Someone jumped off a bridge by where I live. I haven't heard of it, but no one knew who, or something, and my sister wanted to make sure it wasn't my friend. I get over angry. It's really sad people keep doing this, and I've heard a lot of things like this happen. So why did my sister and mom think I shouldn't know?

I'm still a bit angry, but I've calmed down. I know why they did what they did, but it doesn't make sense. My mom practically said it didn't make any sense.

I know I shouldn't complain. They were only trying to keep me from knowing something sad. But I can't help but be stressed. I knew something happened, I just didn't know what happened.

To the families who have lost people, I'm sorry. It's not something to joke about, or to be taken lightly, and you're probably grieving. Just know you are forever in many prayers of many people.