A road less traveled

Chapter 43

Rayce watched as she stood on the pier in silence. He knew she was struggling with the decision he asked her to make. It was going back to a situation she just came from, but he wasn't her previous husband, wasn't anything like that scumbag. He would prove to her it wasn't going to be like before. If there was one thing he had learned about her it was you couldn't cage her. There was a lot she could take but being a prisoner wasn't one of them. Not in any kind of a cage, no matter how gilded. She needed freedom. 

She stood proudly at the edge of the pier and he knew the moment she accepted the fate he had dealt her, her shoulders drooped and her head bowed. It broke his heart a bit to see how much it broke her spirit. He would have a long journey to show her what being treated right was like. Was he deluding himself thinking he was capable of showing her that? That wasn't a question he was ready to face. He was human and he knew he was going to make a million mistakes but he also knew his heart, and it wasn't made of stone. Not to mention the fact she was a killer that could end him in a heartbeat if she so chose to. That was a slightly sobering thought. But it didn't matter what she had been in the past, it didn't mean that was who she was today. He watched her battle demons, daily. He could only imagine how hard it was to set aside all her own wants and needs for her child. She was a strong and unique woman, so many twists and turns to her that one never quite knew what to expect.

She made her way back and a look of shock then a flicker of annoyance crossed her face as she saw him leaning against the truck waiting for her. She didn't speak, just opened the door and climbed inside and looked into the distance. Rayce sighed and ran a hand through his hair, mustering up his courage before getting in the car with her. Rayce made his way into the truck and got it moving before Lyth spoke. He wasn't going to initiate a conversation until she was ready to talk.

"How do you propose we go about your plan?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I was honestly hoping you had some ideas. I know it's going to mean more involvement in less desirable activities on both our parts, however."

"Joy," Lyth muttered.

"I'm sorry. I know you're trying to leave all that behind. I know you're not going to like this suggestion at all, but for safety, we may need to have Ben go somewhere. I don't know how this is going to play out Lyth and I don't want him in danger."

"I know. I've thought about it. I just don't have anywhere safe for him to go. There's no one I would trust him with."

"What about Mrs. Jones? She has a family away from all this that I could send her to. No one else knows about them."

"I don't know. I'm not ready yet. He's not ready yet. I need to talk to him about this. It also needs to be his decision Rayce. He's a child but he's lived through more than most adults. Mrs. Jones is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but that's MY son, I am the one who protects him, who loves him, etc. I've been with him his whole life. I don't know if I know how to be without him. This is not the plan I had. I wasn't even going to stop in your town. He was hungry and cold. That's the only reason we came here."

"Well for what it's worth, I'm glad you did. You've turned my world upside down, but not in a bad way. You make people want to be and do better. It's crazy!" Rayce uttered quietly.

"Thank you Rayce. That means a lot coming from you," she replied, smiling and placing her hand on his arm. "I do need to make one thing clear though, I won't kill anyone who doesn't deserve it. I didn't kill that bastard of a husband of mine and I don't really want to kill anyone else in my lifetime. I know what we are thinking of doing may require some killing, and to a point, I'm willing to make that sacrifice but I hope to find a way around it if at all possible. Ben changed me. When he came into this world and I was all he had, I changed. I wanted to be better. 10 years is a long time for the type of person I was and I don't want to go back to her. I never knew what such a small person could do to one's life. They put this tiny person into your arms and it looks at you with such trust and love that it scares you. I've never been so afraid in my life when they handed me Ben for the first time I was petrified I was going to break him! His little eyes opened and looked into mine and it was over for me. Time stopped then and I knew I had to stop too. I made myself and Ben a promise then and I hope to be able to keep it. I don't want to become that person ever again."

Rayce watched as a single tear slid down her cheek as she spoke about Ben when he was a baby and the love she had for him. A momentary flare of jealousy went through him, he longed for a child of his own, he longed to feel those emotions, to feel the love. It simmered down when she spoke about the sacrifices made. He didn't know if he was capable of making those kinds of sacrifices, he wanted to be able to and he already saw some of that protective instinct coming out of him with Will and Ben, if he was being honest with himself it even came out with Lyth. He never wanted her to be hurt or to feel hurt and pain again. He was surprised by the feelings. Women had always just been a means to an end for him. Lyth changed that outlook.

She was darkness but light in that same darkness. She was challenging. You never knew what to expect yet you knew where you stood with her. A pile of contradictions in all the best ways.

"I will do everything in my power help you keep that promise," Rayce vowed.

Lyth smiled a sad smile and looked out the window again, almost as if she already knew it was going to be impossible to keep her promise.