The Official Douche Bag Travel Guide of Chad Barrington

Travel Tip #3: Make Friends

     "Appearances can be deceiving." The boy replied, "My parents have no idea how much I know and what I do when they're not looking."

     Chad was certainly impressed with the young man, who definitely reminded the lawyer of what he was like as a young boy. Misunderstood, unappreciated, and worst of all... bored.

     "So why the long face?" Chad asked, already aware of the answer.

     "I'm bored," the young man answered, "And my parents are the worst people to travel with... like ever."

     "I'm sure that's not true," Chad said as he put his sunglasses back on. "Tell me where they are without pointing."

     "They're at the gift shop right now," the boy answered, "Looking but never buying anything. Total cheapskates."

     "They can't be that cheap," Chad said, as he looked in the direction of the shop without turning his head. He could see the people he was referring to because Dad was wearing the exact same shirt his son had on. They looked to be fussing over what if anything to buy, but price did seem to be the issue.

     "What makes you say that?" the boy asked.

     "I know how much it costs to stay here," Chad replied, "but it sounds like your Dad spent most of his funding on this resort, and now has nothing left over. I bet he came here because all the food and booze is free, hoping the price of food would offset the price of hitting the better resort."

     "Now you see my predicament." The boy concluded.

     "I do, actually." Chad agreed, "My Dad used to be the exact same way when I was growing up. Whenever I asked for anything, he always had an excuse to say no. When he offered to get me something, I was shocked to even be asked. The way he acted, there just never seemed to be any money but it was the opposite. He had plenty but just didn't want to spend it. I always hated him for not being there when I needed him and only offering when it was not required. He couldn't take it with him when he died so it hurt that much more when I inherited what he'd been holding back, which had confirmed what I suspected all along; total cheapskate."

     "I hear that." The boy concurred, "Just tired of the excuses. The lies."

     "I get it," Chad said, taking the sunglasses back off, "So why not make your own stash and save it  for yourself?"

     "How do you think I should do that?" The boy asked.

     "By helping me out," Chad answered, "You said it yourself, I'm creeping around here and I'm not even trying. I could use a little social camouflage."

     "No way man," the boy said, holding up a hand. "I am not going to be your wing man and pretend to be your kid so you can pick up women."

     "Not asking," Chad replied, "And that would be way too creepy, even for me. What I have in mind is to create a lie and tell it to someone who is too dumb to suspect it, and let that person sell the lie to everyone else. Makes it seem more authentic."

     "And what dumbass did you have in mind?" The boy asked, as he clearly knew that Chad wasn't talking about him.

     "How much do you know about your father?" Chad asked.

     "More than he thinks I do," The boy replied, "He would make an easy mark."

     "You bet he would," Chad said, smiling. "I'm Chad Barrington."

     "I'm Frankie Anderson Junior." The young boy replied.

     "That would make the old man Frankie Senior, correct?" Chad asked.