The Official Douche Bag Travel Guide of Chad Barrington

Travel Tip #2: Get an Extra Seat

     Chad wasn't concerned about packing for his trip without much notice. His mother was an unofficial expert at packing luggage, something he picked up just by watching her do it over the years. He only packed one suit, confident that he'd probably never use it unless he wanted to make a good impression on someone. The rest of the bag had shorts, shirts, and even a few pairs of jeans. Chad was also well aware that it wasn't legal to walk around with the amount of cash he had in his envelope, especially when flying across borders. To solve this problem, Chad purchased four pay as you go credit cards and filled each of them with few grand each. He did however put about six hundred in his wallet which was perfectly legal. That still left him with a few thousand which he stashed away in a safe he had in his condo. This was the first time he was going anywhere that had nothing to do with work, which was strange to say the least. The last time Chad had gone on a trip that was entirely unrelated to work was his honeymoon with Paula. That was close to eleven years ago, but it wasn't something Chad liked to think about as he shook his head, unwilling to go back there. He hadn't slept that much the night before, but it didn't matter. Chad was hoping to get some rest on the plane, which was going to be in the air for several hours. Like he had the day before, Chad put on a pair of jeans, sneakers and a dress shirt that he wore untucked and with the sleeves rolled up a tiny bit. It was a look that he liked very much, and when he came down to the lobby of his building, a car was waiting to whisk him off for the airport. Like his father had always told him, Chad had arrived to the terminal where he flight was departing two hours early, which would give him plenty of time to get through checkout and security. If he was lucky, he'd find a seat at his gate near and plug so he could charge it before getting on board. He had a spare battery with him, but preferred not to use it if he didn't have to just yet. While he standing at the checkout to get his boarding passes, the lady who was taking his information looked back at Chad with a confused look on her face.

     "Two tickets, Sir?" She said, looking up at him. "Who is the other seat for?"

     "They're both for me." Chad replied, "I paid full price for both. There isn't any problem with that, is there?"

     "No, Sir." the lady said, handing over both boarding passes, "Thank you for choosing to fly with us."

     "Thank you," Chad said, taking both of his boarding passes with him. "Have a nice day."

     He had no issue getting through security but had to take a fair walk to make it to his gate. So when he finally arrived, Chad was happy to sit down and relax while waiting for his flight to start boarding. Once the announcement to board was made, Chad hopped back to his feet, grabbed his carry on and got in line. Each passenger was scanning their boarding passes as they walked through the gate, and as Chad reached the scanner, he had both passes beside one another. He waved his pass slowly so the machine had time to process one and then scan the other as well, basically confirming both seats for himself. As he strolled onto the aircraft, he only showed one pass and then shuffled down to his row. As he was getting there, he couldn't help but notice an attractive young lady sitting in the window seat, checking messages on her phone. Chad tossed one of his carry on bags above him while placing the other in the middle seat of their aisle. As he was making himself comfortable, she looked at the bag and then him.

     "You might have to move that," she whispered to him.

     Chad smiled and showed her both boarding passes. "It's all good. There should be enough room under the middle seat for both of our bags if you'd like some extra foot space."

     "Oh," the lady said, realizing what was going on. "That's a smart move."

     "I'd like to think so myself." Chad confessed, "This is a long flight so I prefer not to be wedged together like a sardine."