Treinta Y Ocho.

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Salice Rose.

I laid in bed

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I laid in bed.

I couldn't move.

He was really gone and so was she. After the call, I flew straight to LA. I ran into the hospital and saw them in their room. They weren't moving at all. My supposed family was crying in and outside the room then I let tears fall . The tears didn't stop falling for days. 

I ignored everyone trying to talk to me.

My blood couldn't even pay for one of the funerals so I payed for both. Even though , I hated my grandmother , I still gave her a beautiful casket like Abuelo. I couldn't even sit through the funeral. I had to walk out as I heard everyone else screaming for them to wake up, for God to send them back.

And what made it worse ?

My so called father didn't show up.

And what made it probably the worse day of my life ?

When they were buried , no one else noticed that it was momma's anniversary of her death.

I sat there in the pouring rain while everyone else went back to the house. I shivered and got sick but it didn't matter. One of the only men in my life was now gone. He now wasn't a call or flight away. He was just gone.

I came back home with my only thing left in the will.

A jewelry box that my mom handmade for the both of them for their anniversary when she was in college.

I turned over and looked at it , sitting on my dresser. I grabbed it and picked it up. I turned and tripped over my own feet. The box lid broke off and pieces of paper flew out. I reached over in confusion and read the first piece. I noticed it was in Spanish.

To our beautiful and mysterious daughter,

You weren't ours but when your father left and decided to give us full guardianship, you became ours. We loved you the day and we never stopped.

The font changed to completely neatness so I knew Abuela was writing this part.

I never said I'm sorry for what I have done. I have made the mistake of treating you lower than what you were. It's sad that since I'm dying , that I mustered up the courage to say so.  Growing up , I was pushed away from my family and abandoned because of my behavior. I didn't find out until recently I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder. My mental illness pushed you away for the wrong reasons and after all this , I found out you were indeed right about your uncle. I had talked to someone about him and they mentioned that he had already spent time in jail for molesting some teens in the area. I am completely embarrassed and disappointed in him and my self for treating you this way. I've done things to you and no one should have to go through that. That night you tried to kill yourself when you were seventeen, I blame myself for that and I still do. I'm sorry and one day I hope to see you here with me. I always loved you and I will never stop.

Then the handwriting got back to sloppily so I knew Abuelo has taken over.

My sweetheart. I wish I fought harder for you and what you wanted to do and who you are. Not a day goes by that I haven't thought of you. I'm so happy that you finally started singing. I remember when you would sing Don't Want To Lose You everyday to me and I didn't think one day you actually would. I want you to do whatever makes you happy , no matter the cost it has, be happy.  Don't forget about us but move on. We will be waiting for you up here and we want to watch you grow.

And don't give that lanky boy a hard time. I actually like him. He's the reason I got to fly out to your birthday. He contacted me and flew down , flew with me there and back. He's a good guy for you sweetheart maybe even the one. 

But what does an old guy like me know ?

I know that you will do great things if you believe in yourself and never doubt yourself.

I love you and never forget that.

I let out a cry and I heard my downstairs door slam.

"Salice!"

I recognized Klay's voice and got up before sprinting downstairs.  He saw me running down the steps and stood infront of them.

"Why are you -"

I jumped on him, wrapping my arms and legs around him. I sniffled into his shoulder.

"Hey what's wrong ?"

"Can you just hold me ?" I mumbled.

"I can." He told me, kissing my forehead before carrying me upstairs to my room.  He sat on the bed and laid back with me laying ontop of him. He rubbed my back softly and I soon fell asleep in his arms.

Where I belong.

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