Diary of a Lonely Guppy

September 14

Okay, I've been thinking about what I wrote yesterday.

I take it all back.

What Kieran did was actually really kind and brave. Olivia's dad just died. Obviously, she should be with her family! Why should she be anywhere else? It's not like Nike dying. She only hurt me. Olivia's dad hurt Olivia and her mom. That's twice as many holes as Nike left.

And I'm sure there are more holes that I don't know about.

So all the holes should be in one place together so that they can help each other out. Which kind of makes sense. If there was another guppy here, who also had a hole from Nike, I would feel much better because there was someone else in the world who was feeling the same way I do.

So Kieran did the right thing.

It's also pretty meaningful to them because the quiet one said they love each other a lot. So Kieran telling Olivia that there are more important things than staying together is really hard to hear, but also shows how much he cares about her. He cares enough to send her to the place she most needs to be.

Home.

I wish I had a real home.

I mean, I sleep on top of the little castle in the tank, and in the plastic plant sometimes. But I don't touch the shell. Nike slept in the shell.

And she's not here to give me a hug and say it's going to be alright.

The crazy lady once said, "Home is where the heart is." Well, Nike tore a big hole in my heart when she jumped. My heart is in 2 pieces, and one of them I can never get back because it's dead with Nike.

So where is my home?

Where is my heart?

And what the heck does "a long way out" mean? That has been driving me insane! I wish the quiet one would hurry up and explain it to me. Her gift for words is infuriating sometimes.

The crazy lady uses that a lot. It means "annoying".

But our story is coming along nicely, and I think it's starting to grow on me. Beauty and the Busker. I might write a little bit of it myself, in my diary, someday. I don't have the quiet one's gift for words, but I could always try. After all, if you don't try, you can't do well.

I think that's the quote. I don't have the best memory.

Nike had a good memory.

But Nike is dead.