Diary of a Lonely Guppy

Author's Note

Dedicated to Paul Krueger and all the other dead folk who have touched my life. I miss you all.

Fun fact: this is based on a true story. When I was in eighth grade, my crazy English teacher had two fish named Nike and Reebok. One day, Nike jumped out of the tank and I got inspired. It's taken me a little while to actually write the story, but still.

Also, by the way, disclaimer time. This book isn't an accurate representation of the grieving process. It's shortened to about a month, but actual grieving takes a long time, blah, blah, I'll talk about that later.

Storytime. When I was I think seven, a whole lot of people died in quick succession. So much so that the whole summer was spent driving around to funerals of family members. It sucked and I got depressed. Then my grandfather, Paul Krueger, showed me some ways to cheer myself up again. He suggested writing and driving his lawnmower. I did.

Yes, I know. Seven-year-old on a lawnmower. Great idea. His yard had a pretty steep hill, too. No accidents. Don't worry.

Anyway, he's totally the reason I write the way I do. Him and a whole lot of other dead people. So I guess what I'm saying is, you'll live.

It's totally fine to feel down after someone dies. All the feelings Reebok has towards Nike are okay, and there are other ones I didn't talk about, such as jealousy or depression. These things are normal, but if you're way too far from okay, talk to someone. I hope you can find some way to distract yourself from your grief, at least for a little while.

And if you are thinking the darkest of those thoughts, remind yourself that your family would be going through what you're going through right now if you were to die. Someone out there cares for you more than you realize. You would be solving your problem, true, but you'd be hurting them. Think about that.

I'm so optimistic.

:)