Falling for my boss ✔️

Chapter 15 - Bleeding heart

Nothing.

My heart dropped.

I trotted down the stairs, earning a concerned look from my aunt.

"Mon beau ..." 

"I'll be back later", I stared out the window. "I'll prepare your fence. Don't wait for me."

Marie and Gerard came out the kitchen. "I'll come along", Gerard already took his jacket, not listening to a word I said.

Together we walked to the car. I tossed him the keys. I was in no condition to drive. My head still hurt, I still tasted the wine in my mouth and my stomach was spinning. Gerard drove the car slowly because of that.

I watched the brown stone houses pass slowly behind us. They gave the small home something antique, rustic, something that made you feel at piece. It always smelled good in Gordes. If it was the season of lavender, it smelled of it in the whole village, or when they made vine, you could smell it too. Today it smelled of fresh bread, coffee and the early spring. The early birds were already at the food market which took place every Tuesday morning.

If you wanted to live in a peaceful place where everybody knew everybody and there wasn't much to do, then this was the right place. I however, even though I lived in two big cities, still loved Gordes. Sometimes I needed the quiet.

But not now. I wanted Sara's endless chattering back. I wanted to hear her lovely voice. Even if she just yelled at me again, I wouldn't mind. My heart ached in longing and my fingers twitched in greed. I want to hold her, I want to kiss her –

But she doesn't want me in her life anymore.

Gerard patted my knee silently as I shut my eyes. "Should we stop?" 

"No. I'm alright."

My sentence couldn't be further from the truth.

I picked out a dark red colour to suit the colour of tatie's house and moved to the wood section of the supplies store to pick out a fitting wood for her front yard. The drive from the village to the store took mere minutes, but I didn't want to carry everything by foot back home.

Aunt Marthe lived in a mas, a farmhouse, next to vine and lavender fields she owned. She made wine as well as anything lavender related, like the past few Beaumont's in Gordes had. If their season was over, she could easily live of the money she had made during the season of harvest. Tourists flooded Gordes any season now it seemed, but fall was almost unbearable.

Laughter made me look up from the cherry wood. I knew that bright voice.

I peered around the corner. Two of my old school friends, Juliette and Abel, were standing with their backs turned to me by the paint section which I had just left, deciding between two shades of pink. Juliette turned slightly as she reached out for something and my eyes widened. She was pregnant. Heavily pregnant.

I quickly retreated.

If they spotted me, they would invite me over. Anytime I came back to Gordes, my old friend gathered and either visited me or surprised me. I didn't need that right now.

I took an armful of the first wood I could grab and quickly went to the cash register.

It should have been us.

My breath grew rigid and my anxiety rose. My hands were getting sweaty, my mind dizzy and my stomach twisted in pain. The ten bottles of wine from the last few days seemed to bother me now suddenly.

It should have been us. Laughing. Happy. Married. Expecting.

Instead I fucked it up because I had let Eleanor come by.