21 ▹ confessions

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"Never once did we say anything out of context," Tommaso countered, trying to match my tone. "The whole 'sexting' thing was a joke and just that."

"I tried telling him that," I spat back in his face and the tears began to run down my face. "He didn't want to hear it!"

"What did he do to you?!" Tommaso asked and I immediately thought to last night...

"What the fuck are these texts, Nicole?!" Pete screamed, shoving my phone back in my face. "Did you sext him and delete the pictures?!"

"Of course not," I screamed back and snatched my phone back. "We were just talking! How did you even get into my phone?!"

"Does it honestly MATTER, Nicole?!" He was pissed and I was sad, and the hurt is what we had in common. "It is OVER between you and Tommaso! Do you hear me? Whatever kind of friendship that you took share is OVER now, got it?!"

"Yes," I had to agree, even if I didn't want to. "But we're only friends — if that."

"I'll just go take care of this right now," Pete huffed and headed for the door, but I quickly ran in front of the door and used my body to keep him from opening the door. "Get out of my way, Nicole!"

"Please don't," I begged and the tears were pouring out of my eyes. "I-I'll end it. I'll talk to him tomorrow and it'll be over, I promise."

"Nicole—!"

"I will end it for us, Pete," I reassured him and gulped. He slowly began to back away. "But I never did cheat on you, though. Never would, either."

"The only reason he isn't here right now is because he is still pissed off," I simply replied, looking down. "He knows that I didn't cheat, but... Those texts made it seem like I wanted to, which I don't at all."

"Nicole," Tommaso said my name, and just like last time, it broke my heart again. He, then, removed his hand from my arm and placed it around my right cheek, caressing it as we were now face to face. His right hand was pressed on the wall behind me and, to be honest, this was all scaring me. "Nicole, Nicole, Nicole..."

"No, stop," I cried and placed my hands onto his chest, which was covered by his signature BlackHeart t-shirt. "Just leave me alone, so that I can get married and live happily ever after with Pete."

"No," he whispered back and we were both breathing really hard. I slowly looked up and realized that he was really close to me, closer than he had ever been before. "Let me take care of you, Nicole. I can do that. You know that I can."

"I-I...," I mumbled out and shook my head repeatedly. "I don't want you to do that. I have to go back to Pete and—"

"No, you don't," he tried telling me, moving his hand up from my cheek to my hair. "I can take care of you, Nicole, and you can finally leave Pete."

"But I'm in love with him," I silently said after looking up in his eyes, which my vision was blurry from crying. "I can't leave him. Ever."

Tommaso was stunned, as if, he thought that I was going to say something else. Was he expecting me to say that I was going to leave Pete for him? I'm not even sure.

Nevertheless, he slightly back off and breathed out: "Nicole..."

"I have to go," I said and lightly pushed him off of me, but he barley stumbled back. "I-I need to go, Tommaso. Just... I-I'm sorry, but I can no longer be your friend."

"Nicole—"

"I want to be, but I can't," I sniffled, closing my eyes to let the tears pour. "Just leave me alone for now, Tommaso."

I struggled to get past him and his grip, but I managed, up until he grabbed ahold of my arm and stumbled backwards from his right grip. "I can't let you walk out of my life, too," he said and was still very quiet, too. "My wife didn't want kids, but I did. I still do. We wanted two different things, two different lifestyles."

I slightly looked over my shoulder and held my breath, while he was still holding onto my wrist and keeping me from officially leaving him. I couldn't believe that he was admitting this to me.

"I divorced her," he continued to confess, keeping his voice soft and low. "It was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do... But I'm glad that I did. Why be married to someone, who doesn't want the same exact thing that you want? Ever since then, I haven't been the same."

I shook my head and fully turned around, shaking my head, and removing my arm from his grip. "Tommaso, don't—"

"That's why I didn't talk to you, why I avoided you," he gulped out, which was a hard pill to swallow. "I didn't want to get attached to you and, then..." He paused and ran his hands over his bald head, looking like he was starting to get pissed off even more. "Then, I fucking did! I got fucking attached to you! And, look at what good that it has done for me... Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because, it doesn't matter what I say to you now, you'll just crawl back to Pete. I'll just be a thing of the past."

I stared at him until he started to take off and, when I tried to grab him, he snatched his arm away and kept on walking. I couldn't say anything and, when he was gone, my back hit the wall and my back slid against it, as I cried and cried.

I didn't know I felt anymore... If I did, that is.

🤭

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