uoıʇıɹɐdsıᗡ

Qᴜᴀʀᴀɴᴛᴀꜱᴇɪ - ᴘᴀꜱᴛ

But, that didn't mean that I didn't want him to lose everything, to suffer and cripple either. I want to watch him lose every single thing that he has built, to watch him be destroyed. That he has ever valued. Fail. That would bring me a great amount of satisfaction, to watch him crash and burn. All because of me.

Could I do it and be successful? I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that I will damn well try! Whether I am successful or not, at least I put my everything into it, he would lose something. He would lose some of his power, but mostly the respect that he has gathered throughout his reign. His ego would be severely wounded, and he would lose the one thing that he wants to control the most. The one thing that he claims to 'love'. To need. Me.

He's lost me already, don't get me wrong. But, he could quite easily get me back. Which leads me to wonder why he hasn't already? He did say he loved the chase, maybe it's that. Or maybe he can't find me. If that was the case, I needed to make sure that it stays that way. That he can't find me.

Anyway, I need to stop thinking too much. It would only damage me further and do me more harm than good.

Observing the Motel room, it was filthy. A crooked wooden rocking chair, barely holding itself together in the corner of the claustrophobic place. Dust littering every crook and indent of the room. Raining from the ceiling, the small particles shifting at the smallest movement. Along with mouldy, crusted curtains and condensated windows, mould also was crawling up the walls, as if shadows were slowly consuming the peeling, floral wallpaper. Spiders and bugs crawling from out of the dim, dark corners, scuttling across the floorboards, leaving behind a low whisper. It was eerily quiet, you could hear your heart beating.

This room needed a good spring- deep clean. It held a musty smell, giving me the impression that with every intake of my breath, my lungs were getting clotted up with dust and the toxic emittance from the mould. Making me want to hold my breath. I wonder what the bathroom was like?

Well, I might as well go and see for myself. I thought, whilst standing up from off of the bed. The sheets were probably the cleanest thing within this room, and I am grateful for that. Even though the bed was lumpy and resembled a cot, it did its job. I've had enough rest for me to continue my quest.

The floorboards creaked audibly from underneath my feet, as I walked the short distance to the restroom. It caused me to pause. Even here, in a Motel, he still had a hold over me. I was waiting for him to pop out from a corner and drag me back with him, to give me a severe punishment when we arrived back to his house. One that I knew would be a lot worse than the previous ones, even though they were harrowing and excruciating.

Stop thinking about him, if you keep thinking about him finding you, it is more likely to become a reality. I told myself, in my mind.

So, taking a deep breath and shaking my head, I resume my journey to the bathroom. The door was already ajar, so I gave it a little push. The hinges were rusty, therefore they let out a low screech. What I saw made me cringe, the sink was stained a yellow-orange colour, from age. The walls were in the same condition as the bedroom; however, the paint was peeling and patchy instead of wallpaper.

It was painted, well was once painted a crimson red. It brought back memories, bad memories. I used to love red, it was one of my most favoured colours. Now, all it did was disgust me. It reminded me of the many times I had seen the man, that I had been forced to marry shed it. He shed it on me, on my back, my ribs and elsewhere. It was even on my hands. I detested the colour red now. All shades, hues, I despised it.

There was no bath, I was thankful for that. If there was, I did not doubt that it would be in a drastic condition and I needed a shower. Craved one. I hadn't had one in days. It had a shower though, it was quite a small room, resembled a box. Square and petite. A sink on the left- hand side, a toilet straight ahead and a small shower on the right- hand corner. It was a bit cramped, but it had enough room for the necessities.