uoıʇıɹɐdsıᗡ

QᴜᴀʀᴀɴᴛᴀᴄɪɴQᴜᴇ - ᴘᴀꜱᴛ

I didn't lose you. You lost me. You'll search for me inside of everyone you're with and everywhere you go and I won't be found. ~ R. H. Sin.

Valentinia:

Past (3 years ago).

The engine of the car roared as it sped down the highway. I had been driving, more like speeding for about five hours now. Honestly, I didn't even know where I was heading, I had nobody, nowhere to go. Well, not without putting them in danger. I just knew that I had to go somewhere, somewhere far, somewhere where he wouldn't even think of finding me or looking for me.

Leaving Italy was not an option, that would be the first thing that he would expect. I couldn't go to the airport; the ticket would leave a trace. I couldn't cross the border, that would also leave a trace. Besides, I didn't even have my passport or any passport.

He said so himself that he has people working for him everywhere, the Police, the Government, the Hospital...

I couldn't leave without him finding me. I wouldn't be surprised if he has increased the amount of security around the border, the airport and Italy as a whole. As if he predicts for me to go there.

I couldn't go home, I couldn't allow him to kill the only family that I have left. Even if... they didn't care about me, I couldn't have any more blood staining my hands. I couldn't let him hurt Katy, she was the only person alive that cared for me. It would be selfish of me to put her life in danger.

Staying here was my best option right now, not my safest. Truthfully, I would never be safe again. I needed to accept that I will always have to watch my back and make subtle moves if I wanted to fully escape him.

The sun was beginning to set, the blue, pink and yellow hues were merging in a delicate, yet alluring approach. They say that yellow represents hope, maybe I do have hope. Hope to finally escape the torturous grasp of my husband. It sounds preposterous thinking about it in reality.

Could I escape him? I guess time will only tell, through my outcome.

Thinking about it now Alessio said I was his hope, but I think he finally realised himself that there was no hope for someone who didn't have a good bone in their body. There was a piece in my mind that maybe also held that hope for him. He was my husband after all, even if it was forced... I still felt like I owed him something. I don't know why, I just did. I know now that I can't help him, nobody can.

He has to want to help himself and that was all that there was to it.

Tears were slowly trailing a path down my cheek. When you think of tears, you automatically assume that they are out of sadness, grief. Nobody believes that you can cry happy tears because people have always stereotyped them for being an act of despair.

I never understood how you could change such a sad gesture into something happy; good. But, now I do. I wasn't crying because I was sad or scared about what he has done to me or when he is going to find me. For the first time, I was crying out of happiness. Something that I once thought was shameful and a self- loathing act.

I was finally... happy. Happy. The word seems foreign, I didn't believe that I could be happy again. But, I am and Alessio is the only reason for that.

But, just because I was happy, didn't discard of the fact that I was still scared shitless.

To anyone who drove past, I probably looked like a madwoman with tears travelling down my face with a smile adorning them, whilst driving down the road at an unthinkable speed. My window was down also, so I was a sight. The scorching sun was boiling, I didn't have any sun lotion with me, but that was the least of my worries and problems as of right now. However, the rapid breeze coming through the open window was enough to salvage that problem.