uoıʇıɹɐdsıᗡ

Qᴜᴀʀᴀɴᴛᴀꜱᴇɪ - ᴘᴀꜱᴛ

Some scars don't hurt. Some scars are numb. Some scars rid you of the capacity to feel anything ever again. ~ Joyce Rachelle.

Valentinia:

Past (3 years ago).

Waking up in an unfamiliar setting was confusing along with hazy, I wasn't sure why I was here at first. I must have forgotten the events of what took place the previous day. I had escaped him. Finally. But, it didn't feel like I thought it would or I would be ecstatic, happy. Happy. I didn't know the meaning of that word anymore, I had forgotten how to be it. I wanted to smile and express my happiness, but I didn't have any happiness to convey.

I was far from happy, I didn't feel any better than what I had when I was trapped with him. I felt the same; unhappy, miserable. The only difference now was that I felt dread along with fear. That he wasn't here now to inflict his wrath upon me, to hurt me in ways that no one ever has or ever will be able too. I was terrified for when he did though. I had left him. Physically, but not mentally. He still followed me everywhere, even if he wasn't here in flesh.

The only thing that he has in remembrance of me, is my purity; my innocence. And that, he stole. He doesn't have anything other than that. Not my heart, my soul, nor my body anymore. He has nothing I hold to my importance now, I can't dwell on what was taken from me. I just have to learn to live with it, because I will never get it or anything he took from me back. I knew what I needed to do, to fully escape him. I needed to fight back.

My ability of strength is nothing in comparison to his, but my mental strength outdid his enormously. He wasn't stable, I needed to use that against him. Outsmart him, now he is a very intelligent man. How would he be where he is right now; with all of the power in the world? He was smarter than people would think, he knew how to manipulate and how to connive. Two of the qualities that benefitted him the most, two that he couldn't live without.

Without them or his men, he would be nothing but another person that existed, but didn't live. That nobody knew of. Just another fish, within its shoal. Nothing of importance. He would hate that. I needed to rid him of his power and influence, target him where it hurt the most. What he valued the most. There was no point in using myself against him, I wasn't his weakness, he told me that. I was his strength. But, maybe I could change that?

But, that would just put me in more danger than I was already. I needed people to think that I didn't exist or no longer did. That I was a memory, a mere shift of the wind. I needed to be non- existent if I wanted to ruin him, like he nearly did me. To eliminate his precious empire. He would be nothing without it. It was his lively hood, 'his family'.

However, I didn't want to eliminate the people within it, I don't know them. Therefore, they didn't deserve to die, due to my judgement. They didn't deserve to die at all, even if they have done monstrous things. I'm sure that what they had done didn't hold a grain of sand to what he had done and is still doing. But, that didn't mean that they shouldn't be punished. They should be put through the fair Criminal Justice System, not the corrupt one that he has established.

By what he has told me, the whole of Italy is corrupt and is surrounded by injustice. But, that could just be a string of lies that he has fed me. Honesty, I didn't even want him to die, I'm not someone who wants to punish someone by death. It does nothing, it doesn't punish them, it just gets rid of them. They would just die, and then there would be nothing. No satisfaction, no relief. Nothing, because they wouldn't be there. That isn't punishment, death and murder is just the easy way to get rid of our problems. I didn't want to do that. I wasn't like him.