Barely Fine and Just Alive [One Direction Fan-Fiction]

Just Alive

Niall's P.O.V

We never ended up going to the concert, we stayed in talking and playing with our kids. Charlotte send Liam away so it was just our family. I smiled to myself as I though about it. I loved being like an actual family with them. It's what I'd wanted, ever since I got Charlotte back and Mika along with her. It was perfect, almost. I could see the hurt in Charlotte's eyes sometimes, and the mistrust in Mika's. But they had the right to not trust me, I had cheated on Charlotte which had terrible repercussions on both of them. I wish I hadn't been so stupid and gone and got drunk. I was so stupid. I cried over it. There were nights where I would fall asleep crying and wake up screaming that I was sorry. I would never tell them that I was apologizing to her over and over again, although I'm pretty sure they knew. I was a mess. She was alone with two kids trying to be a musician. She had moved to Australia just so she could record in private, no one knowing she had another child, no one knowing that the child's father was a dick who cheated on Charlotte, no one knowing that it was me. I would always love her, forever. I walk into my apartment and see the boys sitting there. My smile falls off my face,

'Niall we need to talk' Zayn said to me

'It's about Charlotte' Harry carries on

'We don't know if you should date her' Liam says

'Yea cuz last time she ran away and the majority of us never heard from her she could of been dead, my best friend and Mika' Lou finishes angrily. I take a deep breath, and begin

'When Charlotte and I were dating the first time, it felt like flying. I was the happiest I had ever been, more than when we got signed or when I met Justin Beiber,' I begin 'And when she broke up with me I was so upset, but the chance of making it through X-Factor was amazing so I chose to focus on that. When I thought I was done, that I was going home and I said "I just don't want to go home" it was because I knew that if I went home I would have nothing, I wasn't singing to the country and I wasn't with Charlotte. When we were put together as a group, the first person I went to call was Charlotte. But I knew she wouldn't answer. I didn't know what to do. All these years I've only been half of myself cause the other half was Charlotte, my Charlotte. When we found her and Mika, I can't even begin to explain what I was feeling. When they were mine, when we were together as a family it topped it all. And them I had to fuck it up by sleeping with that girl. I thought that when Charlotte freaked out after we did it, it was because she didn't love me, but she did. And god did I love her, I still do! I can't imagine being able to live without her or Mika or even Karma. I love them so much and I'm not going to hurt them ever' I finish and I see the boys eyes flicker to behind me. I see Charlotte standing behind me. Tears in her eyes. She turns and runs out the door. I try to follow but Zayn stops me.

'Let her work it out herself' he says and I fall to my knees in tears.

Charlotte's P.O.V

Why would he still love me. I don't deserve love. I deserve to die. My kids would be sad without me but they would never ever have to put up with my over emotional shit again. I close

the door to the bathroom and slide my back down the door crying. My kids deserved a better mother. I stand and walk over to my draw where my old friend lived. I took it out and slowly sliced across my wrist. Making the incisions deeper and deeper until I collapse in a pool of blood. I see Mika by the door and I whisper 'Im sorry an I love you baby, tell your uncles and Daddy and Karma that okay?' and the world goes black.

Niall's POV

My phone begins to play it's usual ringtone I grab it and answer it immediately. I hear Karma screaming in the back ground and then Mika

'Daddy!! Please come help!!!' he says scared and I run put the door heading for Charlottes apartment.

'What happened?' I ask trying to stay calm

'Mummy's on the bathroom floor and she's covered in red paint' he says and my heart stops but I sprint to her apartment. As I run in the door I feel as if time slows down I run for the bathroom and pick her up in my arms and carry her out. I begin to cry, I see Mika standing scared beside Karma's bed. I take off my shirt and use it to halt the bleeding. I hear the sirens and I hear the footsteps as the paramedics run in. But all I see is Charlotte. They rush her away and I stay sitting on the floor shirtless and empty. Blood stained onto my chest. Eventually I feel a hand on my arm and I see Mika standing there

'Daddy, put a shirt on and let's see Mummy' he says and I nod. I grab him and Karma and walk back to my apartment. I grab the first shirt I see and my car keys and we rush to the hospital.