Barely Fine and Just Alive [One Direction Fan-Fiction]

WHAT THE FUCK CHARLOTTE!!

I was sitting in a room backstage after the concert with Mika. He was very tired and I was waiting for the boys to be ready to go home

'WHAT THE FUCK CHARLOTTE!!' I hear Niall's screams echo throughout the stadium. I cover Mika's ears. 'CHARLOTTE WE NEED TO TALK NOW!!' He screams. I can see the windows shaking and his footsteps growing closer. Mika begins to cry as he pounds his fist against our door. I open it wide

'You idiot you made Mika cry!' He glares at me and walks in

'I'm the idiot?!! Well I suppose I am seeing as I wasn't smart enough to workout that he was my SON!' He says cynically. My eyes grow wide.

'Niall calm down I'm going to get someone to watch Mika for me' I see Harry walk past 'Haz can you watch Mika for a bit?' He nods

'Come on Mika!' He says and they walk off down the hall. I close the door

'Did you know that you were pregnant when you left me?' He says

'Niall-'

'No' he cuts off 'Did you know?' He said sounding more agitated

'Niall I-'

'No! DID YOU KNOW??' He screams and I nodded 'Then why the fuck did you do it Charlotte?' He says crying

'Because I wanted you to become who you are now' I say holding back my sobs 'because I knew that this is what you wanted. To be a famous musician! I wasn't going to be the one to hold you back and I was not going to give you a reason to blame it on him! Like my parents did!' I say no longer able to keep the sobs in 'and most of all Niall because I thought you didn't love me. I thought that if you did you'd fight for me. Without knowing I was pregnant. Niall, for once I just wanted someone to love me so much that they would fight to be with me. That they wouldn't stop until I was back in there arms where I belonged' I cried into his chest

'Do you know how hard it was for me? He asks and I shake my head

'NO! Do you have any idea how hard it was for me? I'm a teen mum! I was bullied because of my babie. Every year on Mika's birthday I would go to our spot and cry. For hours, for you, for Avery-'

'Avery?' He asked cutting me off

'Mika's twin sister who was still born' I say and we both fall silent 'I wanted so much for you to fight for me. I wanted you to show up at my door and kiss me like your used to and tell me that you loved me. That I was your princess and that you would fight to have me. But you didn't and I-i-i became numb. Itwas like I wasn't even there. I would do the same thing every day. Get up go to school come home sleep. I wouldn't talk to anyone. And then it really went to the shits. I was out walking around one Saturday when I got a pregnancy book. It got me worried so i checked myself into a hospital to get them to check me out. I had fucking anorexia because you left me numb. They said that I needed to get better for my babies and that if I saw no growth with in the next two weeks that they were dead. I panicked but it brought me back to life. I pushed brick walls up wouldn't let anyone in. Then my parents kicked me out because I was pregnant. They gave me an apartment and told me how to get into my savings account and kicked me out. I was pregnant, recovering from anorexia and living in a tiny studio apartment. It was horrible. But every night I would leave my window open and the key above my door where i always kept it praying that you'd come back to fight for me. To fight for us. To fight for our happy ending. But all I got was a dead baby and one who disappeared. Thats when I swore that love didn't exist, that happy endings only happen in movies and books and TV shows. I realised that no one fights for love. They forget and move on and never look back. But I couldn't help it. I built my walls up high around my heart, because no one would ever do that to me again. My walls helped to form a shrine, a shrine filled with the memories of us. Of all we did, of all we couldn't do, of all that could've happened and it broke me. Every time I heard your fucking name or your voice or saw a picture of you my heart would shatter all over again.' I scream at him my sobs returning

'I love you Charlotte and right now I want to fight for you' he says and it pushes me over the edge

'You see thats the point you want to fight for me now, but what about tomorrow or the day after that or even 50 years from now. Will you still want to fight for me? No. Thats why I'm going to tell you that I hate you, because I have the 3 people who have been fighting for me and. I don't believe that you are one of them' I say and I turn away, but he grabs my arm and turns me to face him

'I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb converse shoes, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way youre always right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when youre not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I dont hate you, not even close

not even a little bit

not even at all.' He says and I look at him in shock,

'You stole that from my photo album' I said accusingly. He nods and pulls a photo out of his pocket. It was of me on his back giving him a kiss on the cheek. We we're both so happy. I let out another sob. I feel his arms around me. I cry into his chest, once I can't cry anymore I push away from him

'I love you Ni, but I can't do this. I can't trust you I don't want to get hurt' I say and the look on his face mimics how mine was, numb. 'Just prove to me that you won't hurt me. I want so badly to be with you'

NIALLS POV

I was going to prove to her that I deserve her and Mika. That I love them. I'm going to get my family back!