Barely Fine and Just Alive [One Direction Fan-Fiction]

Angel

I look out the small window with Mika on my lap at the flashing lights of New York. The tour was about to begin it's American leg. I smiled at his look of awe. I go to look over at Jem but he wasn't there. In his place was Niall, I quickly looked away. The plane lands and I begin to take off my many jumpers that were keeping me warm on the cold flight. I go to take Mika's off when I see Niall doing it for me. I smile at him, when he looks up I see a shocked look on his face

'Charlotte your arms' he says and my face falls, he saw. I quickly pull my sleeves down. I hang my head in shame. I Niall takes Mika's hand and Mika takes mine. I smile at my little boy. He knew and it made him sad but he had accepted it. My baby boy was strong. Once we got to the hotel room, I made Mika go with Niall and I went and locked myself in my hotel room. I was panicked, would Niall confront me about it? Or would he forget it proving me right in my belief that he hated me. After a few hours I decide that I should go get Mika. I stop at the door to Niall's room so I can hear what they're saying.

NIALL'S POV

Charlotte had been in her room for hours. I was about to go return Mika, so he could get some sleep when a thought occurred to me. Did Mika know about his mothers self-harm? I turn the television off and get on my knees in front of him so that I was his height.

'Mika do you know about the scratches on Mummy's arms?' I ask and he nods smiling sadly

'Mummy told me a story about it. She said that everyone who marked their arms where angels and were too sensitive to everyone else's pain and there own and that marking their arms made it easier for them. She said that there would be a day where the angels had to go home to heaven. She said that when I meet my Daddy would be when she feels the most pain. She said it was because love hurts too much. I don't get it I love Mummy and it doesn't hurt and I love you Daddy and I love Lou and Hazzy and Li-Li and Jem and Zaynie. That doesn't hurt. Sometimes Mummy makes no sense' he says and I begin to cry, I hug my son. He is so strong, he would always look after her. I go and put Mika in my bed and lie with him until he falls asleep, when he does I go to Charlotte's room. I need to talk to her.

CHARLOTTE'S POV

After I heard what Mika said to Niall I was so upset. I had retreated to my living room, he hadn't said anything. I bet he didn't even care. I sat crying and then I realised what I had to do. He was hurting me so much, every time I saw him my heart ached. I went and grabbed my suitcase and pulled out my blade. I went to the bathroom and slowly began to cut my wrists. The feeling of the cold blade piercing my skin was horrible, but I deserved it. I was in love with someone. I couldn't be with. I tore my skin a thousand times just so I could die. I heard a noise coming from the other room. The door swung open and in ran Niall, he saw the blood dripping off my arm and onto the floor. He ran to me and held me in his arms

'Charlotte why?' He said and I felt my eyes droop I see him take off his shirt and use it to put pressure on my wounds, we go to the couch and we sit there and I break down. He brushes some of my hair out from my eyes

'I want you to tell me everything that happened with you from when I left to this exact moment in time' he says and I nod.

I explained everything, I mean everything. It was so hard. I was spilling out all my secrets to the guy who caused me to have so many. Every time our eyes met I felt my heart convulse. By the end we were both crying.

'I don't know why you care though, you hate me!' I say to him and he looks at me shocked

'No I don't,' he says as he looks down at his hands 'Charlotte I have never loved anyone as much as you. I don't think I'll ever love anyone more than you!' He says crying. Our eyes meet and I feel the butterflies flap around my stomach. He leans in and our lips meet. Fireworks exploded! I felt it get more and more heated. He loved me back. We broke our passionate embrace due to the fact that we need to breath. I smile at him and he returns it 'Charlotte, will you be my girlfriend?' I nod and kiss him. We both smile. This is how it should be.