coffee // joshler

10

finally josh's point of view again

tyler is a little.

the fact that he was so scared to tell me breaks my heart. he shouldnt be that nervous to tell me anything. i guess he thought i would ditch him or something, which is somewhat understandable. a lot of people don't understand age regression.

it still took quite a bit of calming and reassurance, but i think hes okay now. our food arrived a few minutes after that conversation, and we're currently curled up on his couch and eating. a movie is playing, but neither of us are paying attention.

"so, josh, can i ask you something?" tyler speaks quietly, like he's afraid of my answer.

"of course," i set my empty box down and wipe my face with a napkin. i turn to him and take his hand in mine after he sets his food down as well.

"what, um," he pauses and clears his throat. "what does this mean for us? i mean i know we've known each other for a little bit but we haven't been like... romantically seeing each other for very long and i don't want to push you or rush anything."

"well, what do you want it to mean?"

he looks down at our hands and shrugs. "i dunno."

"don't be shy, it's okay. i just want to know where you want to go with this," i squeeze his hand and he looks up at me. "do you want a relationship with me?" my voice doesn't crack, but im extremely nervous to ask. there's a fifty percent chance he'll say yes, but that also means there's a fifty percent chance he'll say no. not the best odds on my behalf.

"yes. but only if-if you want to."

"of course i do. that being said, i have a follow up question."

"what?"

"will you be my boyfriend?"

"only if youll be my boyfriend."

i nod, but don't say anything. i just lean forward and press a gentle kiss to his lips. i pull away and he lets out a gentle sigh.

"you alright?"

he blushes and mumbles a yes. "so, does this mean, um, that when im little, you'll, um, take care of me?" he looks at me with anxious, wide eyes, and i know its hard for him to keep the eye-contact.

"of course i will," i press a kiss to his forehead this time and he smiles.

the rest of the night is spent with us taking and cuddling and laughing until i decide i should take him home.

"it's getting pretty late, ty," i stand up and stretch, "we should go."

he sighs dramatically. "if we must."

i lean down and kiss him once more. i love that i can do that now after waiting so long to gain the courage to even ask him on a date. "come on. lets go, hun."

he holds onto me tightly as i drive him home, and when we stop he kisses my cheek.

"goodnight, joshua," he waves a little and then walks into his apartment complex.

i wait until i cant see him anymore before i drive away, my mind flooded with softness and my heart a puddle of mush.

(an: this is short and its shit but i dont even care because it makes me soft and i still think its cute bc i am in fact a sucker for a fast burn)