Finishing Crazy

Finishing Crazy (19)

“I did not!” I protest, but Bryan puts his hand over my mouth gently.

“You’re right. But you’ve been out for two days and I couldn’t kiss you that whole time. So, now you've got to make up for it.”

“Ugh.” I say, pretending to be disgusted, but it doesn’t deter him in the slightest, because he goes on right ahead and leans in anyways.

This isn't like the less-meaningful kisses we've been exchanging as of late. Bryan is kissing me like it's the last time he ever will, and it confuses me.

 That thought in mind, I break away, and Bryan collapses on the chair behind him, looking troubled.

''What?'' I ask, wanting to know what's wrong.

"I just thought I'd never get to see you awake again."

"What?" I repeat, not sure if I heard him right.

Bryan sighs and looks at me with a strange expression on his face, like he's debating whether or not he's going to tell me something.

"When you... when you got here, you were already out. I didn't know if you were unconcious or just asleep, so I rushed you in to see Dr. Strider. We got lucky because he was here and still had an hour before some surgery that he scheduled for someone else, and he was able to see us right away. He said that something... something in your body had made your pain so intense that you went into shock. Yesterday he put you in a medically induced coma so that you wouldn't have to deal with the pain, but when he stopped medically inducing the coma, then you were still... asleep."

"Well, I'm awake now. But why wasn't I before? And why did my side hurt?"

"Well, Dr. Strider didn't know why you weren't waking up, but he says the drugs may have just affected you differently."

I notice that Bryan hasn't answered my second question, so I ask him why my side hurt again.

He looks uncomfortable.

My mind suddenly flashes back to the day that I found out I had cancer, with Bryan sitting there when I woke up. He told me that he was supposed to get the doctor as soon as I awoke.

He looked uncomfortable then, too.

"Bryan?" I call his name uncertainly.

"I- I'm going to go get the doctor." Bryan says, getting up to leave

I grab his arm and pull him back, so that our faces are less than an inch away from touching.

"No." I say. “You aren't running away from me this time. Tell me what's going on."

My heart picks up pace as I imagine the possibilities of what could be happening. What if the cancer is terminal now? What if it spread faster than the doctor was anticipating? What if the chemo stopped working and I'm never going to be in remission?

Instead of answering me, Bryan leans in and kisses me. I push him back, not wanting to kiss him at a time like this.

"Bryan, right now is not the time to kiss me!" I exclaim, irritated.” Now tell me what's going on!"

"Kyra, I don't want-"

"I don't care!" I yell.

I get up from my bed and walk out. I don't know where I'm going but I know that I need to find Dr. Strider. Bryan won't tell me what's going on so I guess I have to find out myself.

I hear someone running after me but I pretend like I don't.

"Kyra!"

I ignore him.

"Wait up!"

He catches up and walks beside me.

"Kyra, stop."

I ignore him still.

"Kyra, please!"

The pleading tone in his voice makes me soften a little, and I stop and turn to him.

“Are you actually going to tell me?” I ask.

Bryan sighs. He looks like he hasn’t slept for a few days, with his disheveled hair and tired expression. I wonder if he’s been going to school, or if he’s taken it off to stay with me in the hospital all day. I doubt it’s the latter; Bryan’s mom would never let him miss too much school, no matter what the occasion is.

 “Yes.” He says, the words barely audible.

“Okay.” I submit, feeling bad about my rant.

He takes my hand, but slowly, as if afraid it might disappear at any time. I grasp his firmly, to show him that I’m still here.

“Bryan.” I say softly. “I just want to know. That’s all.”

He nods again, and then looks at me.

“Well, before I say the issue, I have to tell you that it’s not terminal yet.”

It’s not terminal yet? Terminal? Terminal…

My mind is thrown into a frenzy of thoughts, all of them echoing and revolving around that word.

Terminal.

“You’re… not accepting the kidney you received. Your immune system is attacking it, and a couple nights ago, when I had to take you here, your kidney almost failed.”

My mouth is dry and I seem to have lost the ability to speak.

“They can give you medicine to keep you alive, but it will weaken you quite a bit. They have to lower your immune system’s strength in order to get your body to stop attacking your kidney, and that won’t leave you much energy to do whatever else you need to do.”

“Like training.” I say hoarsely, realizing that if I am to live I cannot run the Ironman. This is the end of the road. There’s nothing left in front of me but wilderness that I am forbidden to enter.

It is no longer very improbable that I can run the Ironman.

It is impossible.

. . . . . . .

Thank you for reading lovlies!:) If you like it, remember to comment vote and fan! I'm thinking about entering this in the Watty's since it'll be done well before November:) What do you think? And any new cast ideas? If you have a good idea for cast than I'll dedicate a chapter to you!:)

Stay beautiful,

Rachelle