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THE GUILT FILLED HIM UP but yet he hadn't fully processed what had occurred. Paulo was in state of disbelief and it hadn't truly hit him, at least until the next morning. When he had woken up, he lied there, body limp as the thoughts of Naomi rushed through his mind.
Every morning he was grateful for another day of life, but this morning gratitude wasn't exactly what he felt when he woke up.
He felt not a care in the world for anything, but Naomi. All his mind could just think about was her. Maybe it was the guilt for everything he had done that was eating him up or it was just the realization that he was a horrible person. Not even the sound of the birds chirping by his window no longer put a little smile on his face, and it instead the noise actually aggravated him.
The sunlight peaking into his hotel room made him groan, and he instead shut the blinds. The hotel room was faintly illuminated, and everything looked so dull and even lifeless. Everything was still, he felt as if the world had just stopped and as if he was the only person on earth left.
Paulo felt so alone, so disconnected from the world, as if he didn't even exist. And he hated the feeling of being so alone. He wasn't necessarily alone, but it didn't matter to him when it wasn't the person who he wanted by his side.
He never knew how much he actually needed her until now, and it sounded horrible to put it in that way, but he had never appreciated her for what she did for him. To make the morning worse, a pang of pain hit him as he tried to send Naomi a text, but they were just not going through.
She blocked me, he thought and he didn't blame her for not wanting anything to do with him. She knew that he'd ask for forgiveness, like always, and this was a way of making sure that she wouldn't give into him and forgive him. Because she was weak when it come to him, and she'd always find love in her heart for him.
Naomi knew that if she was truly getting over Paulo, she'd need to get rid of any form of communication she had with him. She knew herself well, and that whenever she would be at her worst, she'd probably find herself texting him buy she didn't want to relive this all over again.
Naomi had self-control, but hardly any when it came to Paulo.
She needed to stay away from him, and if she could, forever. Naomi had to stay away from him, because returning to him was no longer an option. It would probably be a bigger mistake than meeting him in the first place. Naomi really needed to stay as far away from him as possible until she could move on from him and the pain he had caused her heart.
Paulo felt frustrated with himself and the fact that he ended up on her Instagram page– the only place she had forgotten to block him on. He hated himself for not being able to just grasp the idea of it being all over. His mind knew it, but yet his heart had the hope that killed. In his heart, he believed that he one day he'd be able to fix the damage and that with time, they'd one day find their way back to each other– because they were meant to be together, right?
