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NAOMI SIGHED ONCE MORE, as she lied down on their bed. She shook her head just thinking about the past events that had happened over an hour ago with Paulo.
Why do I let him do whatever he wants, and I still choose to let him when I'm not supposed to.
"Why am I so stupid," she mumbled to herself. It wasn't that she was stupid, it was that she was in love- and when you're in love you do crazy things for love. Even if it meant getting your heart broken every time.
"Paulo why are you so mad at me? I haven't done anything to make you ignore me and not talk to me all of a sudden," she told him, getting extremely frustrated with Paulo.
"Just shut up."
"No, I wont shut up, not until you tell my why you're even mad at me. I haven't done anything to you!"
"Nothing? Nothing really. Naomi you're probably cheating on me, for all I know," Paulo yelled at her. The irony of it all, actually. He felt somewhat guilty of accusing her of something she would never do.
"Paulo, I would never-"
"Then who's that Mateo guy? Why has he started texting you all of sudden?" Paulo said, his eyes becoming much darker. He knew she wasn't cheating on him, but it didn't change the fact that he still felt jealous that she was talking to another guy. It wasn't talking to another guy that affected him, the fact that she could find someone better and leave him, and he didn't want her to leave him.
"You went through my messages? Really Paulo?"
"Naomi, that isn't the point. For the last time. Why is he texting you?" He said sternly. Naomi feared that he would flip out anytime soon.
"Mateo is one of my partners for my business class. You would know if you actually payed attention to what I told you months ago. Why would I ever cheat on you?"
"Yeah, sure you wouldn't," he mumbled and shook his head. For some reason it angered him to think of her cheating, and being with someone else. Before she knew it, he had slammed the front door and had left. Leaving her clueless but nonetheless heartbroken, like always.
All of this made no sense to Naomi, she wondered why all of sudden he had been accusing her of cheating lately. But the truth was that he was the one cheating, and the guilt was killing him. Or maybe he wanted to act like he was the victim in this situation. Paulo wasn't the victim, he was the one who hurt everyone.
-
It had been over six hours since Paulo had angrily stormed out of their house to who knows where in Turin. Naomi had began to worry about him and if something had happened to him. No matter how much pain he caused her, she still loved him.
She lied on their living room couch, her body tightly wrapped with a soft blanket, as she watched re-runs of her favorite show as she waited for Paulo to show up and their home and go to bed. Naomi's eyes were heavy and tired, the prominent under-eye bags were there as proof of how tired she was.
As Naomi was drifting to sleep, she heard soft knocking on the front door. She quickly got up and opened the door only to be faced with Paulo. A drunk Paulo, she could easily smell the alcohol. "Nao, baby. I'm so sorry," he slurred, as he almost fell over trying to get through the door.
She quickly put his arms around her and walked him towards the couch. "I'm really, really, really sorry Naomi," he said once more.
Naomi felt tears brim her eyes when she saw the reddish-purple flesh centimeters above his collar bone, when she had helped him take off his jacket. "Where were you Paulo?"
"I was with my friends-" he paused when he finally saw her tears rolling down her cheeks. "Why are you crying mi amor?" He asked sweetly, as if he hadn't done anything wrong.
"Why do you do this to me Paulo?" She asked him, looking into his bright emerald eyes, seeing the guilt but also confusion in his eyes.
"Do what?"
"Why do you cheat on me, Paulo? Do you not love me anymore, because tell me. Was I ever good enough for you?" She asked, as more tears rolled down her cheeks. She wanted to punch and yell at him. But Paulo was drunk, and wouldn't remember this at all tomorrow, but maybe she could get answers this way.
In a way, she was taking advantage of him, but that didn't matter anymore. Whenever she asked things like this, he would act as if he hadn't heard a thing. She had never asked him anything when he was drunk because, she was always afraid of what Paulo would tell her.
But she was tired of his lies, and acting like she didn't matter. She wanted answers even, if it broke her heart into pieces.
"Naomi, don't cry please," he said, and tried to wipe her tears away but, she had pushed his hand away. "I love you Naomi. I love you, more than you think. You're too good for me and you deserve someone much, much better than me."
"But I don't want anyone else," she said, softly. "What's your reason behind this all? Why do you choose to cheat, am I not good enough, was I ever good enough for you?"
"I don't know. I really don't know, Nao," he said. But she refused to believe that was the answer.
"Everything we do has a reason behind it, you really can't do things without thinking or not having a reason to do it. You must've had a reason to cheat on me, and hurt me."
"Naomi-"
"Paulo, you accused me of cheating on you because, you were paranoid. Or maybe because you assumed that I was like you, that I would stoop so low and cheat," she told him. "I'm not like you and I would never."
"Nao, I honestly don't know why I did what I did. But all I want to tell you is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you. I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"Well I'm sorry for falling in love with someone like you."
Naomi felt that she had let out part of her anger out but, he was drunk he didn't understand anything so it meant nothing. But it still meant a lot to her because, she got to say it to his face, even if he was drunk.
