Rants, lovely rants.

Periods

Periods are literally like the f*cking apocalypse for me. I can't go out anywhere, I can't do anything. Hell, I can't even sit upright without my ovaries feeling like they're being stabbed with a knife. So to all the assholes out there who don't know shit about periods, this chapter's for you to read.

There is blood constantly pouring out of our vaginas. If you have a heavy blood flow (like me) you've probably been embarrassed numerous times. I have to wear dark colours during the summer (although it's 100 degrees) because if I wear anything that's light coloured, my blood is going to leak onto it and make it look like a murdered someone. The blood isn't just visible on my arse, it trickles down my leg so I literally have blood trails running down my legs. Note to Hollywood: You guys should totally cast me in one of your horror movies while I'm on my period. You don't need to waste a crap ton of money on fake blood that doesn't even look real. You can have a girl who looks exactly like how the girl in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre looked like after she had been brutally murdered.

Blood also ruins all of my clothes. I mean, I obviously wear granny panties during my period but I'm tired of trying to get bloodstains out of my clothes, you know? Also, sometimes it comes on the wrong date (like two weeks after I expected it to come) so it just stains my gorgeous underwear and embarrasses me in front of everyone.

Please excuse me for a second. *Cringes*.

Also, let's talk about pet dogs. I don't know if my dog's a pervert but every time I have my period, he'll start sniffing me (oh God, that sounded so wrong). Since I sleep with my dog, it's even more awkward for me because I'll wake up to see a furry beast sniffing my arse. That is something I really don't need to see at 2 in the morning.

The worst thing about periods are the cramps that you have while you're on it. It's like someone is controlling a voodoo doll of you and is just stabbing your neck, back and ovaries repeatedly. If I'm at home, I'll just be immobilized on my bed because my cramps are that bad. For all the dudes out there who don't know how painful cramps are, it's like Bruce Lee kicking your balls 1000 times. Yeah, think about that before you tell me "It doesn't even look painful". I can't sleep at night mainly because of the pain I'm in but also, I need to find a certain position to sleep in so that my cramps hurt a little less. Most of the time, it's an awkward position that makes my parents wonder "should we call an exorcist?".  

Also, having cramps in school is the worst thing ever. Those crappy plastic chairs that they make us sit on are uncomfortable in the first place. So when I'm on my period, sitting on that chair doesn't just become uncomfortable, it becomes a living hell. 

You guys might say, "Oh, just take some painkillers." That's the thing, painkillers (even the strongest ones) don't work on my freak-of-nature period. Yeah, I really have the period from hell. There's no stopping the misery that I am put through for two weeks every month. Oh, you thought that cramps only come on the first few days of a girl's period? You see, my period just wants to torture me as much as possible so one week before I actually get my period, my body would begin to hurt (or feel like it's being chopped up into many pieces). 

One week before hell begins,  I act like a total b*tch without even realizing it (until my dad yells at me). One minute, I'm overwhelmed with joy but the next minute I start to cry for no f*cking reason and start to hate everybody (or yell at them). 

In summary, periods just make you feel like absolute shit.

Question of the day: What do you hate the most about periods?

If you liked this rant, please vote for it! I would really appreciate it. :D

A/N

Firstly, I want to say R.I.P to the people who were on MH17. They really didn't deserve to die the way they did. :(

Secondly, I'm so sorry for not updating RLR very often. I just have a crap ton of exams (Summer break ended in July for us) to study for. Whenever I'm free, I'll try my best to update RLR :D.

Lastly, I hope that you all have an amazing day! :D

<3 Jally