Best Friends

Chapter 7

It's Friday now.

Braden is now officially my boyfriend. This definitely got people talking. Jack was forced to change his status to 'single' because of that. That was something good. I changed mine back to in a relationship and changed the profile picture to us.

Braden is really sweet. He walked with me to all my classes today and stayed, talking, until the warning bell rang. He helped me out in math class today. Our teacher wouldn't let us go unless we finished the day's assignment and I didn't understand it. Braden obviously didn't just give me the answers, he helped me learn it. Anything I got wrong, he corrected helpfully. I think I really do like him. I hope so. I need to.

I also secretly hope that would make Jack mad and he wouldn't talk to me. Or jealous, nonetheless. It was selfish but I needed some motivation. I was a walking pile of awkwardness. Motivation actually helped me talk to Braden with confidence. But of course, Jack still talked to me, and I couldn't help but be annoyed with him.

I think he was just happy I talked to him now. But what he did was unforgivable. And we aren't in a relationship. And we never will be ever again. We aren't friends. And for my sake, I hope we never are again.

He hurt me terribly and I don't know if I can forgive me. Maybe eventually, but it would have to take something worse than that to bring me back to Jack. And I pray that won't happen.

Jack says he's sorry, that it was accident, that he didn't know what had happened. Prove it, jerk.

Like I said, what he did to me is unforgivable. So I'm going to make him pay. Not with money, though I could use some. I'm going to play the one who played me. I don't want to use good boy Braden as part of my plan, but I will if I have to. I care about him and don't want him to get hurt, but this is one time I have to put myself first.

I'm still having trouble sleeping but I can eat without puking now. I'm feeling better. Braden has been talking to me on the phone when I can't sleep at night and one of us ends up falling asleep, still on the call. My dogs have been feeling better too, which means they're more playful now. Sparky is getting older now, too; I can see some grey on her fur.

I have a date with Braden tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to it. We just started dating and I feel important to him. I was just important to Jack for popularity bonus points of being in a relationship. At least now he's single, so he can have whoever he wants and it won't bother me one bit. If things don't work between me and Braden, I can always pretend to take Jack back, then crush him like he crushed me.

Thinking about crushing him hurts, but I just want him to know how badly he hurt me. It's an indescribable pain, mentally and physically. Someone who you care about so deeply, just tosses you away, and makes you feel unimportant, not cared about. It's such a horrible feeling. I can't help but feel this way.

One way or another, I will heal the hurt in my heart and get over Jack.

Step One: Get rid of everything Jack that may distract me from my goal.

I can accomplish this by throwing away Jack and I ever made together as a project or from friendship. I can get rid of his gifts, or put up a dart board with a picture of his face and have the jewelry hanging off of it.

Jack thinks that because I have started talking to him (barely), that we're friends again. No chance, buddy. And I will be fine without him and I will no longer be mad at him or jealous of Claire. I can get over him. Eventually, I will be fine. Now? I just feel like I've been betrayed.

Step Two: Make him believe I forgave him completely.

That can be accomplished by simply putting on a smile and an act. I can be a pretty good liar, when I need to. I used to hate lying to Jack, even if it was for his benefit, but now I might enjoy it.

Step Three: Learn the truth.

I'll find out what happened. I'll see if he's honest and if I can ever trust him again. I don't know how to feel about that, but I know that it hurts more getting stabbed in the back, because the blade can reach your heart.

Step Four: Make him truly love me, mo matter if the first was an act or real.

I want him to fall in love with me. It won't be like the way I fell in love with him and then was crushed. This will be worse.

Step Five: Break him.

I want him to understand how badly he hurt me and the pain I went through. Not many people get a chance to find a real love, and if that love is broken, then the person feels that way, and they have to fix themselves.

"Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did"
Ha!
Time for a little revenge

The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him
She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"

I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it
I underestimated just who I was dealing with
She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum
She underestimated just who she was stealing from
She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge

She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list
She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it
I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling
And she thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things
But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go
They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity

She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge

I'm just another thing for you
To roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him but haven't you heard
I'm just another thing for you
To roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him but I always get the last word, Whoa

She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
'Cause I don't think you do. Oh.
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
I don't think you do
I don't think you do
Let's hear the applause
Come on show me how much better you are (so much better, yeah)
So you deserve some applause 'cause you're so much better
She took him faster than you could say "sabotage" "

Taylor Swift's "Better Than Revenge" is stuck in my head. She isn't near one of my favorite artists, but this song seems to be fitting in very good at this point in my life. I certainly hope I can twist the lyrics and make them help.