Today was the 6th of May. It's been exactly one month since Gerard had an accident and slipped into a coma. But today wasn't going to be like any other day. I didn't know what it was, I didn't know why I felt so positive this morning. It was just like any other run to the hospital.
But today just felt like it was going to be good for once. But the more time I spent thinking about this whole thing, the more pathetic and hopeless I felt.
I couldn't get him out of my head, to the point of having dreams of him...some not too innocent dreams. Some dreams that left me feeling even more confused and high strung than before. Dreams that made me to crave seeing him more and more.
This only made me feel even more guilty and even sexually frustrated; which was rediculous because we were just friends and I shouldn't be thinking of having such feelings for a guy like Gerard, wait, was I actually harbouring feelings for Gerard?
I laughed at my self spitefully as I took another sip of my water and stabbed my salad with my plastic fork. I looked around in content at the oblivious high schoolers chatting away animatedly.
They had no idea how much pain some people were going through. All they knew were their clothes, their cars, their looks and their reputation. Another reason why I hated Prep schools and high school in general. Everyone was just so vain and fake that it made me want to stab my ears with my fork so that I wouldn't be able to hear their cackles and smudged laughter and hear the steady flow of my blood instead.
At least it was already lunch time, it was a half day today so after lunch we're supposedly meant to go home. I was also happy because today was Friday and that meant I could spend more time with Gerard, without worrying about it being a school night.
The more I thought about it, the more obsessed I realized that I was becoming. It was ridiculous to feel this way to someone who is just a friend, and maybe not even return the feeling, but I just couldn't help it.
The way he always protected me from the wrath of asshats and tried to help me out, even when I didn't want the help. The way he always tried to make me feel happy and cared for and I would push away his every effort but in fact I was glowing on the inside. Or even the way his thin, pale fingers brushed against my face and we held each other's gaze in the hallway that fateful day and I couldn't stop staring at his perfectly tinted and probably perfectly soft lips--- I shivered at the memory of his sensuousness and the vibration reached my core and a small gasp escaped my lips as I peeked down and realized that I was already growing hard, just by the thought of him.
"Fuck," I groaned as I dropped my head on the table, breathing hard as I tried to will away the problem in my jeans.
It's been like this for the past few weeks. My hormones have been on a riot for only god knows why. I've been in Pency Prep for only a little over two months: which meant over two months of no foreplay.
This has never been a problem before as my ex was always there to assuage my urgent needs but now, everything turned me on and made me sensitive--- which fucking sucked. I was hoping that my 'relationship' with Jamia would blossom but ever since that night I yelled at her, she's been ignoring me and started having an over friendly relationship with a one Patrick Stump.
'That ship has sailed,' I thought as I sighed at the retreating bulge and took a deep breath.
I disposed of my plastic tray and headed out of the cafeteria before the bell even rang. The sooner I left school the better.
"Need a ride?" A familiar voice made its way to my ear and I spun around. Dallon was smiling down at me from his seat in his smooth, black Range Rover Sports car. I stared at him in a mix of shock and appreciation.
