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The week day went by relatively fast for Renjun.

17 harsh lines multiplied, every time he messed up, he sacrificed more of the beautiful tan skin on his body to his inner demon.

"It's so good to have a rest" was heard from Donghyuck, perched on the stairs outside the dorm, one up from renjun. "Mhm" Renjun mumbled in response, soaking in the atmosphere around them. The harsh beams of sun were blocked by the roof that hung above the stairs, but the heat was relentless even under shade.

"I think I'm going to go for a walk" Renjun states out of the blue, standing up, making his way back into his room as Haechan trailed him with his eyes until he was out of sight. He was in and out of his room in a matter of seconds, deciding not to change out of his black jeans, white long sleeve and black converse and just put on a black cap and grabbed his facemask and small backpack.

"Bye Haechan" he mumbles out as he walks away from the dorm and onto the street, facemask on and headphones in.

'So, you've left the dorm. Practice rooms?'

The sinister little voice questions Renjun, who nodded in response.

'Good boy, Jimmie! You're doing your hyungs proud!'

Renjun felt a smile grow on his face, despite being concealed by his face mask.


Stepping into the SM building after an hour long walk without being spotted by a single fan or paparazzi was a feat within itself, if you don't include the intense stomach pain and fatigue Renjun was already facing.

He checked in and eventually found himself in a small practice room, and plugged in his phone and started to dance.

As chewing gum played, his mind wondered back to the incident from the last training session with his hand. He looked down to observe the long scar across his hand, almost completely healed and useable again.

He lifted his sleeve to reveal lines both harsh red and scarred, all up his forearm and he smiled.

'You need to be careful'

Renjun snapped back to reality when he heard the voice.

'If you want your hyungs to love you, you can't let them see. If you want Chenle to love you, you need to be skinnier Junnie. You're doing so well!'

Renjun picked up from where he left off with chewing gum, and continued dancing until he couldn't feel anything in his body and his pain was substituted with the numbness in his heart and limbs.


Chenle heard from Haechan that Renjun had gone for a walk, which usually meant he had definitely gone to go practice. Though many of the members of NCT were observant, Chenle was very observant of the prince-like Chinese boy. He was very quick to notice the oddities in his behaviour: Renjun grew to be antisocial, ate less than the recommended for even a baby at this point, constantly wearing long sleeves and pants and over extorting himself.

Chenle had asked Jungwoo to drop him off at the dance studio, but Jungwoo has insisted on coming with him because he also wanted to see his quiet dongsaeng. Jungwoo was very aware of the feelings Chenle and Renjun harbour for each other, and is determined to set them up.

"Hyung" Chenle asks, "how did you know you liked Lucas?"

Jungwoo wasn't anticipating that one.

"Like Lucas- what- um" he stuttered out, eyes and mouth open in shock. It was a very obvious yet unsaid thing that Jungwoo and Lucas would probably sacrifice everyone else for each other, but clearly it wasn't obvious for Jungwoo.

"I mean- was it that obvious?" Jungwoo sighs and Chenle lets out a high pitched laugh, automatically bringing a bright smile to Jungwoo's face.

'No wonder why Renjun loves him so much' he thinks to himself.


Renjun hears Chenle's laugh and automatically panics. He quickly lowers his music and checks himself in the mirror. He rushes to fix his hair and wipe to sweat away, sighing at the appearance of his purply eye bags. He sees the door open and Chenle comes in first, beaming smile and a chuckling yet flushed Jungwoo trailing behind.

Chenle barrels towards Renjun at full speed, embracing his favourite hyung warmly. "Junnie gē!" He exclaims happily in chinese, making Jungwoo smile endearingly and makes Renjun's mouth twitch into a small smile. "Hey Lele" he hugs back.

The moment he wraps his arms around Chenle's body, he notices it. His sleeves are still rolled up, and Jungwoo is staring right at his arms, with a look of horror painted across his face.


It's now Friday night, today was the last day of term and apparently my story is now on Renjun ranking thingy so that may explain why people are reading now. Hopefully I'll finish the book soon and start writing my other one.

Cross dressing Haechan anyone?

Perfect - Renjun // NCT Where stories live. Discover now